Unfortunately, you have to wake up sometime.
Exclusive of annoying alarm clocks and wailing babies, there are pleasant ways to be awakened from your slumber and downright groan-worthy ways.
Top Ten Worst Ways To Be Woken Up:
- Hearing a crash from somewhere in the house.
- The sound of a child vomiting.
- A phone ringing at 3 a.m.
- Dogs barking, cats screeching, children arguing.
- Smelling smoke.
- A cry of, "Will you please wipe my bottom?"
- The aroma of your spouse's waking wind.
- Two words: leg cramp.
- The feeling of your partner's "morning glory" against your back.
- Sloppy wet kisses from your pet.
- Hearing birds singing.
- The sound of silence.
- The expectation of a fun event/girls' lunch/ball game/vacation.
- A beautiful sunrise.
- The gentle pitter-patter of rain on the roof.
- A cry of, "Mom, Publisher's Clearinghouse is at the door!"
- The aroma of your favorite brew
- Three words: breakfast in bed.
- The feeling of your toddler's arms around your neck.
- Sloppy wet kisses from your children.
“I love sleep. My life has the tendency to fall apart when I'm awake, you know?”
~Ernest Hemingway
Yes, I know, Ernie.
(I'm thinking Ernest Hemingway was really a woman.)
I really LOLed at #9 on the worst list. Thanks for a good laugh this morning!
ReplyDeleteYou're quite welcome.
DeleteI also like hearing my little one (who's 16 months) cooing "Mama" or "Dada" when he wakes up. It's much better than when he wakes up crying (which doesn't happen that much, thankfully).
ReplyDeleteOh, I love that, too! My 19 month old did that twice this weekend which was a nice break from waking up crying.
DeleteOh man, I really love my sleep too and truly cringed at your worst list that I have had more than one of these unpleasant things wake me up. Just last night my younger daughter decided she wanted wake three times crying for no reason during the night. And seriously tired today and wish I could sleep now!!
ReplyDeleteWaking up once is bad enough, but three times? Yawn!
DeleteThis is FABULOUS! Well said, my friend. Well said! Ha ha. Still laughing out loud right now. "The feeling of your partner's "morning glory" against your back." Yeah, that does suck.
ReplyDeleteWe don't have a lock on our bedroom door, and the boys are up WAY earlier than us, so there's no morning glory action in our house. If we're on vacation, that's a different story. ;)
DeleteWe used an Angel Care monitor. Have you heard of it? It's a SIDs monitor, and it turns out ours was a bit defective. Scared the crap out of us every time it went off in the middle of the night. After it happened a few times in a row, I called the help desk and they sent me the double sensor, which fixed the issue. But in the week we waited for it, we had that horrible, "what if it's not a problem with the sensor?" thought plaguing our minds and were unable to unhook it. So every night, sometimes twice a night, that damn thing woke us up out of a peaceful sleep.
ReplyDeleteI loved #9. Hilarious!
Ugh! That would suck! Sometimes I think those create more anxiety than they solve!
DeleteOh my, so true! I haven't slept in since before this baby was born, but of all the ways the day peels me out of bed, "wipe my bottom" is among the worst - because once you hear that, it's usually too late.
ReplyDeleteYep, so true!
DeleteYou'll have to amend this for teenagers. I often wake up in the middle of the night on the weekends and bolt out of bed and rush to their room to see if they came home . . .
ReplyDeleteThus the 3 a.m. phone ringing. My mom used to try to stay up on the couch, but would fall asleep. I'm sure she bolted up in the middle of the night quite a few times!
DeleteGreat lists! I would add to the worst list the sensation that two beady little eyes are staring a hole into your brain awaiting the slightest indication that you are waking up. Hat it when my kids do that! :-)
ReplyDeleteI usually hear breathing in my ear. Yeah, it's the best! ;)
DeleteLove this and glad I found your blog. My favorite is, "Will you wipe my bottom?" HULarious!
ReplyDeleteIt happens a lot around here!
DeleteBirds chirping are great! But, a cardinal flying into your bathroom window EVERY morning, over and over, is the worst. I have no idea what to do about it either :( I don't know how it is still alive.
ReplyDeleteProbably by sheer dumb luck, it sounds like. We get squirrels and other creatures on our roof, and I get woken up a lot by their scratching. It's maddening!
DeleteThe first list made me anxious, and the second made me happy. Awesome job!
ReplyDeleteThanks! Sometimes waking up can be pleasant.
DeleteI agree with Funny is Family. I got all anxty reading the first list. And then I got to the brewed coffee and felt much better.
ReplyDeleteA good cup of coffee solves a lot of problems, doesn't it?
Delete9 is the worst!!! I'm sure husbands out there imagine a particular response, but it only annoys me!
ReplyDeleteThey assume we're in the mood all the time like they are. Maybe some women are - good for them. But I get nervous little boys will walk in on us. Awkward!
DeleteUgh the morning glory, just let me sleep! I love both lists.
ReplyDeleteAt this point in my life, I will take sleep over sex on most days.
DeleteExactly!
DeleteVomit is the worst in my book!
ReplyDeleteEspecially when said sick kid is in your bed!
DeleteThe EH quote is awesome. I might need to paint it on my bedroom door. :)
ReplyDeleteI like it, too. So true for me!!
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