Unfortunately, you have to wake up sometime.
Exclusive of annoying alarm clocks and wailing babies, there are pleasant ways to be awakened from your slumber and downright groan-worthy ways.
Top Ten Worst Ways To Be Woken Up:
- Hearing a crash from somewhere in the house.
- The sound of a child vomiting.
- A phone ringing at 3 a.m.
- Dogs barking, cats screeching, children arguing.
- Smelling smoke.
- A cry of, "Will you please wipe my bottom?"
- The aroma of your spouse's waking wind.
- Two words: leg cramp.
- The feeling of your partner's "morning glory" against your back.
- Sloppy wet kisses from your pet.
- Hearing birds singing.
- The sound of silence.
- The expectation of a fun event/girls' lunch/ball game/vacation.
- A beautiful sunrise.
- The gentle pitter-patter of rain on the roof.
- A cry of, "Mom, Publisher's Clearinghouse is at the door!"
- The aroma of your favorite brew
- Three words: breakfast in bed.
- The feeling of your toddler's arms around your neck.
- Sloppy wet kisses from your children.
“I love sleep. My life has the tendency to fall apart when I'm awake, you know?”
Yes, I know, Ernie.
(I'm thinking Ernest Hemingway was really a woman.)