6 reasons my kids WON'T be having a free-range summer

morguefile.com

Right after we pulled into the garage on the last day of school, twelve-year-old Slim ran across the street toward some girls who were playing outside. A few minutes later he came back into the house.

“Why are you back inside, Slim?” I asked.

“Oh, those girls saw me coming and ran into their house,” he shrugged, matter-of-factly. “I guess they couldn’t handle my awesomeness.”

Slim has high-functioning autism. Whether he really thought that or realized the girls were trying to get away from him because they think he’s weird remains to be seen. But this is one of the many reasons that, despite what kind of a childhood I had, my sons will not be having a free-range summer.

Alphabet letters. In addition to the ASD, my son also has ADHD. He has one brother who has ADD. These boys need structure this summer. Honestly, all kids need structure. The first two weeks before lessons and camps and activities got started, Slim tried to plan out our entire day minute-by-minute. It was maddening, but I understand his need for order and schedules. Sure, sometimes we’ll wake up and just fly by the seats of our pants; but most days we will have a routine of chores, summer school work, screen time, active time, lessons, camps, etc . . .

Screens. When I was my sons' ages, cable television was a new thing and Atari was just a fuzzy game my brother played that I didn't have any interest in. Once "Fraggle Rock" was over and HBO was showing Nine to Five for the fifty-gazillionth time, I turned off the t.v. Now our kids have so many channels and options and personal devices and gaming systems. If I didn’t set limits, my sons would only emerge from their boy cave long enough to pee and grab more bags of Veggie Straws (Seriously, have you tried them? They’re surprisingly good.).

Competition. Gone are the lazy, explorative days of our childhood. My sons cannot possibly take the summer off from school work, learning how to code, or perfecting their three-pointers. Nowadays, there is a camp, a class, or lesson for everything. If there's not, there is a private tutor or coach waiting to teach your child to be the best. I'd like my kids to at least have a chance. (It's a lot, isn't it? Have you read this article about why most kids quit sports before high school?)  

Nosy neighbors and CPS. When they were in Junior High, my brother and his friend built an elaborate tree fort whose size rivaled a small NYC apartment or one of those trendy tiny houses. No one gave a thought to two twelve-year-olds with tools and nails and boards and anything else they could scavenge. All four of their parents were working; in fact, I was only ten and staying home by myself. Now, the "village" is all up in everyone else's business. I feel like if I don't check on my boys every ten minutes, I'm going to get judged as a bad mother. 

Mean kids. I'll admit that I hover around my kids. The primary reason I do is to make sure they are behaving and being nice to other children. "Catching them in the act" is the perfect time for reteaching and role playing. But I will admit, too, that I watch Slim like a hawk to see how other children are treating him and reacting to him. I've had to stand up for him in the past, but I'm really trying hard to get him to understand what is appropriate in social situations and what is not. While he really wants to be social, he's not always the best at it. 

Fear of loss. I woke up one day seven years ago and my whole life changed. There wasn't a thing I could do about that. But if something happened to one of my boys now and I could have prevented it, I would never be able to live with myself. One day last summer, I wasn't checking on Lil' C every ten minutes outside, and he rode off on his bicycle. We couldn't find him for about twenty minutes, and I was panicking, thinking of every kidnapping scenario and desperately trying to remember exactly what he had been wearing. Just as I had pulled out my phone to call 911, he came riding back, happy as a clam at his adventure. We used to ride our bikes EVERYWHERE, but somehow, I feel like this is a different time. 

I asked my mother once about all this, if she worried about these things, too. There were no cell phones growing up, so she had to trust that we were where we said we'd be. Also, there were no online predators to worry about, though there were actual predators. She said childhood cancer wasn't as prevalent as it is now, but occasionally you did hear of a child who'd died from it. She worried about mean kids and drugs and car accidents and freak accidents and everything we moms today worry about. 

But I still think it was a different time. I think with every generation comes a loss of innocence that we cannot get back. The more we move forward, we the more we lose. 

I guess this makes me a helicopter parent; and you know what? I'm okay with that. They are only little for a short time, and I am going to control things as much as I can. The older they get, the more opportunities for independence they will have. I'm okay with that, too. But right now, at 12, 10, 8, and 4 years old, I think I still have a few things to teach them. 

By the time they are old enough to apply those lessons, maybe I'll be ready to let go, too. 

Do you consider yourself a "free-range" parent? What aspects of their childhood do you control? 

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What to expect after bringing home a puppy

*This post contains affiliate links. 

A few days before Christmas, we added a puppy to our family. After thinking about it and talking about it and looking at adorable picture after adorable picture for better than five years, we thought it was time.

The photo that made us fall in love. 

We've had Hannah, our darling Havanese-Poodle mix, in our family for almost three months now, and we are smitten. Thinking about getting a puppy of your own? Read on for what to expect after bringing your furry friend home.

Puppies are just like babies/toddlers. Everything you've heard about a puppy being like another baby is true. They whine and cry at night and wake frequently until they get used to the sleeping arrangements. They teethe on everything (and finding puppy teeth in the house is a fun bonus because NO TOOTH FAIRY!). They have energy when you just want to chill. And the potty training- GAH! Very frustrating.

But just like babies and toddlers, they are adorable. They learn quickly if you stick to a routine. They do cute and hilarious things that you will just NEED to post to social media. They will be your little shadow, and the cuddles are the best.

She just climbed up on my shoulder
and fell asleep. <3

Puppies will destroy something you like. It's inevitable. Even if you didn't leave your favorite gauzy blouse on the floor of your closet, your puppy will see it hanging there, taste it (because like toddlers they put everything in their mouths), decide it likes the way it tastes, and pretty soon, there is a hole in it that can't be repaired. Your puppy will chew on the leg of your favorite antique chair, eat your kids' Legos, and even chew apart it's own toys. Just be prepared to replace a few things, and you'll be fine. Oh, and learn ways to prevent your puppy from chewing.

Puppies get sick. In your house. On your carpet. You might even step in it (that's what I've heard, ahem). Just when I thought our Hannah-pie was all potty trained, she started pooping everywhere! All over the house and even in her sleeping spot (which dogs don't typically do). Well, it turns out she had a little tummy bug; and when it was over, so was the house pooping. We have overfed her on occasion, or given her something too rich for her tummy, or took her for a vigorous run right after dinner, and she has lost her cookies in the house as well. You just have to expect a few messes in the house. Have the right cleaning supplies handy, like Nature's Miracle No More Marking, 24-Ounce Spray (P-5558).

Puppies get your house dirty. They roll in the dirt and mulch and walk in the gravel and mud. They get twigs and leaves stuck in their fur, and they get dusty, wet, and smelly. Be prepared to keep some wipes like Earthbath All Natural Puppy Grooming Wipes, 100 Wipes or a wet washcloth handy to wipe your puppy down on particularly messy days. And if you're picky about poopy bottoms, be prepared to wipe those, too. I was wiping my dog's bottom every time she pooped at first. After so many times of nothing being on the wipe, I gave that up. I feel like our house is not that much dirtier given that she is a small dog AND we have four boys, so our house is always a little dirty anyway.

Puppies put a dent in your wallet. Owning a dog is not without expense. Besides regular vet visits, there are licensing fees, puppy training, grooming, food, treats, toys, leashes, kennels, and any other cute and ridiculous thing you see that you just HAVE to get for your puppy, like these bunny ears for Easter:



You will have at least one hit and run scare. Dogs love to run and some are really good escape artists. When you least expect it, your puppy will take off, and your down-the-street-neighbor (you know, the one who puts out the "Slow, kids at play" signs) will speed by narrowly avoiding flattening your dog. It makes you realize that at some point, you won't have your dog anymore and you will be very, very sad thinking about that moment. . .


. . . because Puppies steal your heart. No amount of poop, pee, vomit, barking, destroyed furniture, or stress over training will cancel out how much you love the little furball. When you are ready and you have found the one, it will be right. And all of a sudden, you will understand all of the crazy pet parents out there because you will be one. :)

You won't even mind
puppy kisses. 

On a side note, if you think that a puppy will be the magic answer for your kid with ADHD or autism, think again. In our case, the puppy only distracts our children more and is a little freaked out by our ASD kid's loud voice and frantic movements.

But, there is something to be said about a puppy increasing responsible behavior in children and helping keep everyone fit. Our boys know they need to take turns taking the dog outside (we are still working on getting them to scoop the poop - maybe it would be easier with this GoGo Stik - The Totally Clean Pooper Scooper); and when someone is restless, we tell them to take the dog for a walk. Personally, I have lost a few pounds because I take the dog for at least one walk a day, sometimes more.

Oh, and the thing about puppies helping with depression? It's true. A few minutes of cuddling with Hannah, playing fetch with her, or watching her go "psycho dog" (tear around the house running as fast as she can for no apparent reason), elevates my mood incredibly and makes me laugh until I get tears in my eyes. She definitely makes me happy more than she makes me mad or frustrates me.

The important thing about getting a dog is to be sure you're ready. Just like having a baby, you never really know when it can happen - maybe the right dog comes along at the wrong time - but odds are you've thought a lot about it, are around dogs frequently, or you are in the right mindset to do the work. And it is work. Many people think it's okay to return a dog once you've adopted one and it's not working out or "the kids lost interest" (this is how we got our dog); but just like children, negative experiences with previous owners can affect dogs' personalities. Be sure you are ready to give your dog a forever home. 

Photo by Adam G. 

We're never letting this cutie go!! 

Dog owners, what tips do you have for making your home puppy ready? Let's hear about it in the comments. 

Every Dog Needs Some Boys

We have been thinking about getting a dog for about three years now. There was always a reason why we shouldn’t: we had a new baby, we were moving, we had a new home. The list went on and on. 

I frequently added to it when my Facebook friends would post pictures of their muddy pups or a picture of the critter their hound killed and left on their porch.

“Yep,” I’d say, “that’s reason number 827 why WE are NOT getting a dog.”

Well, yesterday, we got a dog.

I’m not really sure how it happened. It just did. Really quickly. Really quickly after three years of talking about it and the boys begging us for one. Really quickly after two summers of the boys participating in Camp Kindness at the Humane Society. Really quickly after over two years of me writing pet articles for a local print magazine.

Really quickly after the six months’ worth of nightly searches on rescue organization’s web pages that Hubby has been doing.

Finally, after the 75^th cute dog he showed me, I said, “Email them and say we’re interested.”

Then really quickly they emailed back and wanted to know about our family and wanted references and wanted to set up a home visit. 

The first dog we looked at was taken; but they said they had another dog we could adopt. They sent her picture, and instantly I knew she was our dog the way parents know that a baby is theirs to adopt. 

The first dog was still available, but this second dog – she was the one. The home visit went well, though they didn’t bring her to the visit. The dog rescue agency had to move on, people were waiting for Hannah. Our Hannah. Our puppy.

So true to our quick decision-making reflexes, three years after talking about getting a dog, we decided to go for it. They said we can return her in 30 days if it doesn’t work out.

I think it’s already working out. 

Ashley Cox for Freedigitalphotos.com 

Click here to read eight reasons why EVERY family needs a dog. 

French Toast Clothing Review and Giveaway

The following is a sponsored post. I was compensated for my review, but the opinions are my own. 

One of the things I have always loved about attending private school is that we had to wear uniforms. Yes, I know that makes me sound crazy; but I didn't grow up in a family where there was a lot of extra money left over for new outfits. Wearing a uniform was easy and affordable.

Now, my sons go to private school; and yes, there is a dress code. They wear blue shorts or pants and a white polo-style shirt. Now, you may think that because I have all boys and they are boys, that clothing wouldn't be a concern. While it is nice to be able to pass clothing down from one to the other because they generally don't care; it has been tricky when it comes to uniforms.

For the longest time, my oldest two sons were a slim and a husky. When my third son started school, I had no regular pants for him, so I had to buy new. The pants that I could use again were so faded or had holes in the knees (again, boys), that I had to buy new ones anyway.

And let's talk white shirts. It may seem that I could just bleach away any stains and reuse shirts ad nauseum, but it doesn't work that way. Grass stains and marker and pencil and pen and the school's spaghetti sauce and chocolate milk (seriously, why do schools even offer chocolate milk?) were causing the shirts to become a dull shade of gray rather than the bright white I'd be proud to have them wear.

Trips to bargain stores for inexpensive polos and pants were just yielding more trips the next year. The clothing didn't hold up well, and the husky sizes for my second son didn't quite fit him like I'd hoped.

Then, someone told me about FrenchToast.com, and now I never stress about school clothes for my boys. Their motto is "comfort that lasts," and they are not kidding about that. Just this morning, one of my sons actually changed the shirt he was wearing because he saw that I had washed his French Toast shirts. "Mom, I like the soft ones better." You can't argue with that. Plus, they hold their shape better than some of the other brands - even expensive on-line retailers.

Both shirts are the same size in husky, yet the
French Toast shirt has held its shape and color
much better. 

A husky shirt shouldn't shrink that much in length - it will never cover what it needs to cover. His French Toast shirts are soft and retain their shape. He will pick them first over all the other shirts in his closet.

Plus, they offer, regular, slim, and husky sizing. Their pants come in adjustable waist and pull-on styles (important for my preschooler who wears a uniform as well), and the girls' styles have several offerings - skinny stretch, pleated, jegging, Bermuda, boot-cut, and so much more!

Honestly, you guys, French Toast is not just for those who wear uniforms. If you are looking for quality clothing in a variety of styles and colors and at a decent price, you really should check out French Toast. Here is the long and short of it:

• Girls and boys sizes from 2T to young adult.
• Slim, plus, and husky sizes.
• Variety of clothing from blouses to knit polos, pants and shorts in several styles, fits and colors, outerwear and active wear, accessories, and even socks and underwear. 
• Graphic tees, seasonal dresses, and shoes.
• Sale pricing and clearance.
• School logos available and participation in a school fundraising program. 
• 50 wash tested and power knees. :)
• Easy ordering and no-hassle returns. 

You really need to look no further to outfit your children for school whether they wear uniforms or not. This clothing is great for school, every day, or special occasions like church services or weddings. 

All of these found on FrenchToast.com. 

Check out FrenchToast.com and see for yourself. Today I found items as low as $2.99 ranging as high as twenty-plus dollars. It always seems like there is an offer of free shipping or 20% off an item in your order. I can never go wrong with French Toast. 

And because I love it so much, I am partnering with them to bring a giveaway to you! French Toast is offering one bottom and two tops of your choice to one lucky winner. Just fill out the Rafflecopter below and cross your fingers. Open to residents of the United States. Contest ends 12:00 a.m. October 15. 

a Rafflecopter giveaway

*This giveaway has ended.

When a Sibling is Sick: Helping Children Understand Cancer

People often ask us if Joey's brothers knew he was sick. Yes, they did. They also ask if they knew he was dying. Yes, and no. We never specifically told them he would die from his cancer. We did say that some people get better and some people don't and we hoped that Joey would get better.

Which was the truth.

They knew he was changing and getting sicker and not getting any better. Children are intuitive and observant. They know more than we think they know, but there are definitely ways to guide them and answer their questions when a sibling is diagnosed with cancer.

Tell the other children about their sibling's diagnosis as soon as possible.  I want to reiterate that children are clever and observant. They will know something is wrong. They might overhear a conversation or ask why you are taking their sibling to the doctor so much. You can talk as a family, or you can separate older siblings and younger in order to have age-appropriate conversations.

Know and share the facts. Speak honestly to your other children about what cancer is and what it is not. Use the word cancer. Explain that our bodies are made up of cells, and sometimes something happens to these cells to make them sick. Some of the sick cells get together and cause harm to the body, making a person sick. Assure them that every illness is not cancer; but be honest that some cancers are more serious than others. Make sure they know it is not contagious.

Be prepared for all the feelings. Children will likely have many conflicting emotions: fear, anxiety, anger, resentment, guilt, loneliness, and even jealousy. Reassure them that every one of those feelings is normal. If they are feeling guilty that they made their sibling sick by being mean or teasing them, tell them that it is not their fault. Doctors know what causes some cancer, but not others. Relieve some of their fear and anxiety by letting them know that it is okay to ask questions. And then be sure to give honest answers. Even "I don't know" is an honest answer and okay to give.

Let them know that it is okay to cry, but it is also okay to laugh and be happy and have fun. While something very sad and hard is happening to someone they love, good things are happening, too. Friends and pets make us laugh, we scored a goal at our soccer game, we aced a really hard test, or we got invited to a really fun party. Life goes on even though someone is sick. Our happiness can help make our sibling who is sick feel a little better sometimes, too.

Be realistic about what will happen next. The hair loss, the vomiting, weight loss or weight gain, and all of the time that their parent is spending with their sick sibling can be upsetting. Some anxiety and anger can be quelled by letting kids know what is coming.

Stick to a routine as much as possible. With so many things changing, children find routine comforting. Sticking to schedules, bedtimes, and family traditions as much as possible will help bring some normalcy during a time of upheaval. Do prepare children for changes to routines, though; especially if someone else will be picking them up from school or taking them to practices and lessons.

Let siblings help, but don't give them more responsibility than they are ready for or can handle. Provide simple opportunities like helping with chores or keeping a younger sibling occupied. Teenagers can run errands or cook basic meals. Siblings can also step in when Mom and Dad are tired and overwhelmed. Brothers and sisters often have bonds that are very unique. Perhaps they can get a smile out of the patient or be there during scary procedures to offer comfort. Siblings can do something nice like make a craft, pick flowers, or just talk about normal kid things for a break from all the cancer talk.

Be prepared to discuss death with your children. The sad fact is that one out of eight children with cancer will not survive their illness. Here are tips for talking to your child about death.

Get outside help. Sometimes, it's just too much and completely overwhelming, so it's okay to leave these conversations to the experts. Your child's hospital will have social workers trained in these types of discussions and can recommend grief counselors and services. Some helpful websites are CureSearch.org and Cancer.net

When a sibling is sick, you might see the other siblings misbehaving more frequently, clinging, regressing, being demanding, complaining of being sick, or having nightmares and trouble sleeping. This is all within the normal range of behavior.

When Joey was sick and right after he died, Knox had night terrors. He would sit up in his bed and cry uncontrollably. He wasn't awake, so nothing I said or did could calm him. I just had to sit by his bed until it was over and make sure he didn't hurt himself.

Children are going to have questions, fears, and concerns when a sibling is diagnosed with cancer. Arm yourself with straightforward and age-appropriate answers. Be patient. Try to spend a little extra time with the child who is not sick. Give lots of hugs and reassurance. Remember, they are going through this hard time, too. While adults have the ability to understand all facets of the cancer diagnosis, children experience a great deal of misunderstanding of how the disease will affect their sibling. Following these steps will help bring a little healing in the midst of sickness.

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Do I Look Like "Mom" to You?

It was late on a Sunday evening. I was standing at the bathroom sink as Hubby and our seven year old, Lil’ C, were in the shower washing a day’s worth of grass from yard work and water play off their legs and feet.

I heard the water shut off and Lil’ C say, “I don’t have a towel.”

Then came Hubby’s voice, muffled under the cotton of his own towel, “You mean you came down here to get in the shower, but you didn't bring a towel?”

“I forgot . . .” Then, “Mom, will you go get me a towel?”

I sighed. Right in that moment I was really invested in picking at the middle-aged period zits that seemed to have inhabited my chin and neck.

“What do I look like to you?” I asked and squeezed another one.

Lil’ C poked his head out of the shower and said simply in his cute, scratchy little boy voice, “Well . . . Mom.”

Hubby’s head poked out just then. “He’s right, you know,” he said with a wink and a smile.

I sighed again. He was right.

I am Mom.

I have made ‘Being Mom’ my job for the past eleven and a half years.

As I walked up the stairs to get the towel, I tripped over toys, swim towels, and wet bathing suits left to rot the new wood floor.  I thought to myself, If this is how I Mom, I should be fired.

Suddenly, something came over me and I started to rant, “You boys get down here and get all these toys off the stairs. Someone is going to trip and fall (namely, me). And you pick up these wet bathing suits and towels. I've hung your towels up three times already today. I'm not doing it again. And who is making your baby brother cry again?”

Maybe I was just tired. I was probably PMSing just a little a bit.

I was definitely panicking that I am not raising good human beings.

In any other job you get the benefit of a performance review. You sit down with the boss, and she has a piece of paper on which you can actually see what areas you are rocking and what areas need a little more effort.

But when your bosses are tiny little humans incapable of wiping their own bottoms and cooking their own food? Well, you're kinda screwed.

Aside from the nosey eyes of strangers at the grocery store who may or may not be silently rating you on a scale of one-to-ten on how you are handling your toddler’s meltdown in aisle seven, or the teacher who is judging your home discipline skills based on the number of smiley faces that Little Johnny did NOT get on his chart this week, or the mother-in-law who seems to have “just a little piece of advice for you” every time she sees you, or the Facebook commenter who really IS the perfect Mom, there is no rating scale or evaluation period for the job of ‘Mom.’

Those tiny little humans are, unfortunately, our only markers of success or failure.

And that’s kind of B.S. if you ask me.

To hang your career success on how quickly you can make it to the bathroom to wipe somebody’s bottom or how deftly you can shove peas into someone’s wailing mouth or how easily you can divert a tween’s foul mood is a ridiculous experiment in certain failure on most days.

Do you know why? Those tiny little humans come already equipped with their own temperaments and thoughts and ideas; and try as we might to bend them, they keep growing straight and strong despite our best efforts.

They make mistakes, and so do we. But that’s how we both learn.

As good leaders, truly good teachers and guides, we should be leading by example. Placing ourselves in a supervisory role, if you will.

Because if the only evaluation our tiny little humans are getting is coming from someone who has no marker for her own job success or failure, they're screwed.

The great thing about our job is that Moms and kids are in it together. One to lead and teach and guide and love.

And the other to learn and grow and teach us back.

I think that’s a pretty sweet working arrangement; one that lends itself to creativity and innovation and the sharpening of problem-solving skills.

All of that must be good for employee/employer relations, evaluation or not.

Later that Sunday night, I was finally taking a break on the couch when Lil’ C tapped me on the shoulder.

“I brought you your water, just like you like it,” he said, holding out a cup with a huge, toothless grin on his face. “A straw, lots of ice, and a slice of lemon.”

I took the water and gave him a hug. “Because you're Mom,” he added (a perk of the job!).

Attention to detail, compassion, repayment of debt . . .yep, I’d say I've done my job today. High marks on the day’s job performance evaluation.

For both of us. 

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The "Chores vs. Allowance" Debate

"Mom, how can I earn $90 really fast?" My nine-year-old is tall enough to look me in the eyes while he's asking me this.

"Get a job, you bum," I answer jokingly.

"No, Mom, I'm serious," he implores. "There's a super cool new Lego set that I really want to get before the price goes up."

Well, at least he's like his mom: has expensive taste, but shops when there is a sale. 

"That's pretty expensive, Bud," and I let my voice trail off from there. What I'm really thinking is that he doesn't need another Lego set, especially one that is that expensive.

But, how can you tell that to a nine-year-old, Lego obsessed boy who always puts the Legos together and keeps them together?

He goes to Hubby next and asks if he can shovel the driveway for money.

No grass, just mud. 

"All the snow has melted."

Mow the lawn?

"We don't have any grass yet."

Help plant the garden?

And that's when "the talk" begins.

You see, Hubby does not believe in giving allowance. We've been around and around with this discussion. I think it would be nice if the boys had their own money. I make chore charts and lists and schedules with special job codes for each boy to follow.

Hubby thinks that everyone should just "pitch in and get it done." His way people argue about why they have to vacuum the floor after dinner again because they just did it last night, and why does so-and-so never have to vacuum? In my way, you do it because it's your job this week.

Yes, in Hubby's way, things do get done faster sometimes; that is, when little boys aren't sneaking away hoping we won't notice they didn't actually do anything to help. In my way, we are frequently waiting on someone to finish his meal first so he can finish his job first so someone else can do his. But it's fair and equal. I believe in fair and equal (although I don't believe they are the same thing - post for another time).

While we were trying to sell our old house, we had to clean quite frequently for showings and open houses. When we all pitched in, it wasn't so bad. So we decided to let our cleaning lady go and clean the new house ourselves. Each of the boys has his own room and shares a bathroom with one other brother. Their weekend chores look like this:

• Bedrooms: Tidy up, put clothes away, change sheets, bring down dirty laundry (including sheets and towels) and sort into baskets. Vacuum your own room and hallway outside your room. Dust dresser, desk, shelf, and nightstand.
• Bathrooms: With help from Mom or Dad, wipe own counter and sink, clean toilet, and wipe floor. One person will do powder bath.
• Media Room: One person vacuums, one person dusts, and one person “fluffs” (straightens movies, games, pillows, throw blankets, etc…) There is a chart indicating who does what which week.
• Basement: Everyone helps pick up toys. 

We're going on the third month in our new home. They still moan and groan about it. You'd think it would be routine by now, but it's not. 

However, it will be because in a way, I agree with Hubby: everyone should do chores and contribute to the run of the house. Hubby is a very generous dad. He takes the boys lots of places. They get nice gifts for their birthdays and Christmas and Easter, and sometimes on no special occasion at all. And he does give them money every now and then when they do special chores with him that require a lot of hard work (like raking leaves or fixing something or carrying boxes). That being said, I know we agree on one thing: we don't want our sons to grow up being spoiled, entitled jerks. 

Both Hubby and I grew up in families with parents who worked really hard, not only at their jobs, but in our homes as well. The sooner we teach them to take pride in their home and their possessions, the better. So here were Hubby's suggestions to Knox on how he could make money:

• Learn how to mow and trim bushes. Charge the neighbors for your services.
• Rake leaves.
• Plant a garden and go door-to-door selling the leftover produce. 

This is their grand plan. So when he gets older, I am hiring him out for lawn work. However, this fall, supposedly we will have a bumper crop of produce in the empty field next to our house. If you need some, be sure to visit our stand. It will be the one with the unorganized rows of produce, the sign that is falling off, the workers who are arguing about what their exact job is and how much money they should get, and probably will be the cart that is eventually abandoned by said workers. Free produce for everyone!

Chore to allowance ratio? Not learned yet, but we're getting there. 

Do you give your kids chores? Do they earn an allowance? 


feature photo: shutterstock.com

5 More Reasons I Love Whole Foods Market

When Hubby was diagnosed with Celiac Disease back in 2008 (2007? Hubby help me out), I started shopping at Whole Foods Market. It was really the only place to find any decent gluten free food. Plus, if he tried something and didn't like it, we could always bring the unused portion back for a refund. That was nice, because back in 2008 (2007?) gluten free food wasn't very good. At all.

Now in addition to my local grocery store, I shop at Whole Foods at least once a month to stock up on Hubby's favorite gluten free foods, his gluten free beer, and a $6 wine I have found that I absolutely love! I have also been buying a lot of natural beauty items and soaps, have found a vitamin that I love for myself, and the only probiotic that my kids actually want to take!

While other stores have jumped on the natural product/whole food/gluten free train, I still like shopping at Whole Foods. Even with my local grocery store's Health Market sale, Hubby's four favorite gluten free items are still less expensive at Whole Foods. This might shock the people who call it "Whole Paycheck." But last weekend I got to attend a blogger event at my local Whole Foods, and even I learned quite a few things I didn't know about one of my favorite stores.


WFM is not a regular grocery store. It's an experience. :) 

In addition to being able to return things that you didn't like, did you know that sales associates will open something on the floor that you want to try? They will open a box, cut into an exotic fruit, or even open a glass of wine for you! Yep, you can ask for a sample of anything and get it. They may even write "Try Me" on it and let you take it home for free. They realize that some of their items are pricey, and they want you to be happy with it. They will cut specialty pieces of meat for you, give recipe and cooking suggestions, and have handouts available that detail which foods are allergen-free. And for the guys (and YOU, stressed out Mamas), they let you walk around and shop with beverage in hand - even if that beverage is alcohol! You better believe I'm going to take advantage of this!

They care about everyone's health. . .

WFM takes their food seriously. They always put organic produce above non-organic, so the organic does not get contaminated. Likewise, they never cut organic food on the same board as conventional, which is super important to some people. While my local market can't guarantee gluten free food on made on site (no separate kitchen, which is key for allergy free food), they can guarantee the foods made off site are allergy free.

They also started the Whole Kids Foundation which works to put salad bars in schools with the highest need, works to create school gardens, and provides free resources, recipes, and activities for families to learn about healthy eating. If you want to apply for a salad bar in your school, click here to learn more about it.

WFM also operates several global initiatives that help communities, neighborhoods, and the environment by showing communities how to stop the cycle of poverty and live sustainably off the land. I always give the pennies I save by bringing my recyclable bags back to these foundations. Every little bit helps!

. . .and they care about our wallets!

Many people think it is too expensive to eat organic and naturally. Not so, says WFM.  They are constantly moving toward value. They sell a range of products, both conventional and organic; and they have their own 365 Everyday Value line. In addition, you can check out The Whole Deal link on their website and find coupons, budget-friendly recipes, meal plans, and money saving tips. Plus, they have an amazing bulk section for those people who do food prep and meal plan. How many times have I bought a whole bag of some exotic flour to make a gluten free recipe and only used a small portion of it? Never again now that I know this secret! Make sure to search your local store's website to find coupons that are unique to your WFM (they do strive to make each store unique).

They want to make shopping convenient for us.

They have all sorts of yummy food stations set up for lunch or dinner (I used to take Knox to lunch at WFM on the regular when he was in preschool. He loved their pizza, and there was always something healthy for me. . . okay, okay, I ate pizza, too.). They have sandwiches and pizza and a salad bar. They have sushi and a deli, AND a coffee bar. If you're hosting a holiday dinner, let WFM do the cooking. You can order delicious healthy meals online. When Joey was sick and people were bringing us family meals, a lot of people went to Whole Foods. They knew of Hubby's allergy, and we were sure we'd get a healthy meal the whole family could enjoy.

They want us to hang out with them.

Here's the part where I talk about the events that my local Omaha WFM has to offer. To find out what's going on at your local Whole Foods, check out this link on their homepage and search for a store near you to access their newsletter.

• Taste What We're All About: This is a rebranding of their sample Saturdays, which happen every Saturday from 12-3. Holy cow, you guys, they had some great samples the day I went! They had stations set up in produce, meat and seafood, grocery, prepared foods, the bakery, and the spirits department. Honestly? This is where I spent most of my time. Can you say, "Mama loves her wine and cheese?"

• Birthday parties: Yup, Whole Foods does birthday parties. With themes like "Build Your Own Pizza," "Spa," and "Gross Out," there's bound to be something for every kid.
• Girls' Night Out: Last month's GNO filled up so fast that you know it had to be a good time.
• Cheese Night: Does this really need an explanation?? But Tuesday, September 16th, it's about grilled cheese. Gourmet grilled cheese and suggested wine pairings? Umm, yes please.
• College Value Tour and Whole Moms Store Tour: Teaching these target groups how to shop the store affordably.
• Beauty DIY classes
• Kids' Club Classes
• And some new events for September, The Whole Kids Foundation Fundraising Carnival. This free, in-store carnival takes place on Saturday, September 6 from 9-11 a.m. It benefits the program I mentioned earlier that helps to bring salad bars and gardens to local schools. Truck Farm Omaha and Omaha Bee Club will be there to teach kids about gardening and pollination. There will be kids' games in the cafe, giveaways, and raffles for awesome kids' prize packages. Donations for the foundation will be accepted. 
• Thursday Night Hullabaloo: September 4th, the Kris Lager Band kicks off a new free concert series.
• Happy 9th Birthday, Whole Foods! Head over on Sunday, September 21 from 12-2 for free cake, face painting, and balloon creations by Balloon Brigade.

Watch the WFM Omaha website for an entire list of September activities coming soon. And Be sure to follow Whole Foods Market Omaha on Facebook so you can be in the know about all their great deals and activities. 

If you've never been to Whole Foods Market, now's a good time to check it out. If you've been there before, maybe it's time to look at it with new eyes. Armed with all this great information about events and money saving tips, it will be a win for the whole family! I know we'll be there. Hope to see you!

*I was compensated with a WFM gift card for this post (well, and THESE bad boys!),

but all opinions and my continued devotion to Whole Foods are my own.