The Search for Joy

Ever since the diagnosis and death of my son, Joey, from cancer, it has often been a struggle for me to find joy in my daily life. Some days I just want to curl up and die myself, to be quite honest.

There have been times that I have isolated myself from friends and family because things are just too hard.

There have been times when I have been a negative, vicious, screaming mess toward my family.

There have been times I have just wanted to lie around and do nothing.

But there are times that the joy creeps in. Joy seems to have a way of doing that. It starts out as a tiny ball of light seeping through a crack until it gets bigger and wider and more brilliant than you can imagine.

It is the smile on the face of a nine-year-old who has just won his grade level geography bee.

It is the laughter of an eight-year-old who is at the movies with his friends.

It is the excitement of a kindergartner who has just learned to spell a word.

It is in the tight hug of toddler who has his arms wrapped around your neck.

And it is in the voice tone of a husband who finally got some time alone with his wife.

Even in a family like mine who is grieving and feuding with each other on what seems like a daily basis, we have our moments of joy.


In the midst of all the craziness of life, what brings you joy?
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