Tuesday

20 things your toddler wants you to know

Baby E turned 20 months this weekend. His language has simply exploded! It is so freaking cute to see him interact with us and hear what he has to say next.

Regardless of the language explosion though, there are still times that both of us get frustrated because he knows what he wants to say, and I guess at what he wants to say, but don't quite get it right.

Here, I am sharing with you some things that I just know he means to say if only he had a few more words in his vocabulary:



1. Please don't ask me if I've been good while you were gone. I'm not even sure what that means. If it means emptying out the cupboards so the babysitter can see where everything goes, then yes, I was very good!

2. I really don't like it when you tickle me. Even though I laugh and that makes you laugh, it is miserably uncomfortable for me. So please stop doing it.

3. Stop freaking out about the messes I make. I am just so excited about everything! In fact, I wish you'd play with me more often.

4. I like all of your stuff. Seriously, all of it. I want to see how it works, what happens when I squish it in my hands, and if it looks on me like it looks on you.

Colorful and silky . . .ahhh.


5. I want to be just like you. I have seen how you tap on your computer and answer your phone, and I want you to see that I can do it, too!

What? You do it.


6. I like snacks way better than that green stuff you put on my plate. I could eat snacks all day long. Mmmm, snacky snack snack snack.

For the love of all that's holy, save the fish!


7. I do not like it when you eat my snacks. Seriously, Mom, that package has a picture of a baby on it. That means it's for babies, and YOU are not a baby. Mmmmkay?

8. It hurts my feelings when you yell at me. I am only curious about what's on top of the table, and if I have to pull at the tablecloth to get it, then that's what I will do. Word.

9. I climb things because I can. Wow, everything looks so different from up there. I can see what you see now. Me likey.

10. Don't try to reason with me when I'm having a tantrum. I can't hear what you're saying anyway because I am too busy trying to scream as loud as I can.

Don't look at me, don't talk to me, just don't.


11. For the love of god, woman, take me outside more often! I love the breeze and the sunshine and the leaves and the mud and the space to run! It's a whole other world for me.

12. When I am continuously yelling, "Mommy!" from my crib, come and get me. I am awake and I am NOT going back to sleep!

13. I like you and Daddy equally, so stop whispering to me that you know I like you better. Daddy is funny, he gives me really good snacks while eating his own (see #6&7) and he takes me outside (see #11).

14. No one can get me to sleep faster than you can. No one. Mommy, you're warm and soft and you know that spot in the crook of your arm that I love. That is yours. Just yours.

15. I like to be naked. Plain and simple. And when I'm naked, I like to run. It's freeing. You should try it sometime.

Mom's always getting mad about
me getting my clothes messy.
This should solve that problem.


16. I want to help you. I see you taking clothes out of that machine, and I want to make you proud. I see you putting food into that other thing, and I want to do it, too. I get confused when you tell me NO and redo what I've done.

17. I know you're not perfect, Mommy, so stop pretending. I think it's kinda funny when you drop things or trip or pass gas. A guy needs some comedy in his day. Besides, I like repeating that "dammit" word that you say when you mess up!

18. I want you to leave the TV on when that purple dinosaur comes on. There's something about that big thing and all those kids singing that makes me happy, so I'm not sure why you roll your eyes and turn it off.

19. Sometimes, I'm just too busy to cuddle. I know I'm cute and soft and darling, but I have places to see and things to do. Can we just wait until I'm tired? (See #14)

20. I like my penis. Just wanted you to know. Also, where's yours?

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