Tuesday

A Whole Different Ballgame or The Post in Which I Use the "V" Word ... A LOT

This is a repost of a conversation that I had with one of my sons last year. Thank goodness the subject hasn't come up again!

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I've never shied away from teaching my boys the correct terminology for their anatomy. They know they have a penis (or "peeNUS" as they all seem to call it) and they know what that hanging sack is called and that they will use it when they grow up (What? I'm not giving away the whole farm now!).

They even know that I have breasts, and I use them for feeding our babies. But when it comes to my nether regions - that's a whole different ballgame, people.

For years, I have dodged giving any specifics about my anatomy. I have been asked eleventy jillion times by little boys where my "peenus" is, and I have simply answered, "Girls don't have penises." Then come all manner of questions about how I pee and what do I have and so on. The term "vagina" may have come up once.



When I was pregnant with Lil' C, 4-year-old Joey would constantly ask me how he got in there and how he was going to get out. I would mumble something about how God and Daddy and Mommy all worked together to get him in and how the doctor was going to help me get him out. Thank goodness that was all he needed to hear at the time.

But when I was pregnant with Baby E, 6-year-old Knox was not going to be satisfied with these answers because he kept asking! So we had a talk about how the baby was going to come out of my vagina, and he basically said "Ewww" and went running.

So, the other day, I was in the bathroom with now 7-year-old Knox "checking" his bottom (his way of getting around the fact that Mommy is still actually "wiping" his bottom). He was playfully poking and punching me in the stomach when he went lower and punched my "hoo ha."

The following conversation ensued:

Me: Don't hit me there. That's not appropriate.

Knox: Why? What is it?

Me: That's my vagina.

Knox: What's a vagina?

Me: Well, boys have penises and girls have vaginas.

Knox: Oh . . .what's it made of?

Me: The same material as your penis, skin.

Knox: But I thought you said you didn't have a penis.

Me: I don't.

Knox: But you just said a vagina is like a penis.

Me: It's not.

Knox: Then what do you have?

Me: A vagina.

Knox: What's a vagina?

Me: It's what girls have instead of a penis.

Knox: But I thought you said you don't have a penis.

Me: I don't.

Knox: So what do you have?

Me: A vagina.

Knox: So what's a vagina?

Me: Who's on first?

Knox (shaking his head and walking out of the bathroom mumbling): What IS a vagina anyway?

Me (to myself): Whew, glad he gave up on that conversation first.




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