Bee Yew Tee Tea: Vocabulary Lessons From My Toddler

All of my boys have always been extremely verbal. They talked early and often, and  - I think - their speech was always very clear.

They talk so much, in fact, some days I wish everyone would just shut up for a minute so I can hear myself think.

Edgie, my two year old, is no exception. He is constantly talking, even when he is playing by himself.

I have always tried to teach my boys polite terminology. We say, "toot" instead of "fart" and "bottom" instead of "butt". Correct terms for all body parts replace made up or slang words. So they have a "penis" and not a "wiener" and "testicles" instead of "balls".

When riding in the car, we listen to kids' music or classical music so they don't pick up any words or slang terms that they have no business knowing (and I don't have to explain).

It's worked pretty well so far.

But damn the crude humor that comes with Nickelodeon and Disney XD shows and the little boys who think it's hilarious!

The other day, I overheard a conversation Edgie was having with himself while playing with cars. He was babbling, but I heard snippets of "Uncle Bob's boat" and "Okoboji water park".

And then, "Bee Yew Tee Tea."

"Did he just spell 'butt'?" asked Hubby.

"No," I said, "it had to be something else."

"Bee Yew Tee Tea, Bee Yew Tee Tea," sang Edgie.

"He's spelling 'butt,"" Hubby declared.

"Edgie's spelling 'BUTT'!" Explosive laughter from the other room. And then cute smiles and more laughter from Edgie and more, "Bee Yew Tee Tea."

The older boys now think it's hilarious to teach their two year old brother the crude words that they think are funny.

"Hey Edgie, is that your butt?" asks the 8-year-old, laughing.

"Do not teach him to say b-u-t-t!" I scold.

"Bee Yew Tee Tea, Bee Yew Tee Tea," sings Edgie.

"MOM! Don't teach Edgie to say BUTT!" the 9-year-old scolds.

My sister laughed at me last weekend when I saw her. She remembers how I wouldn't let her kids, who are much older than mine, call each other "buttheads" in front of my kids. So they jokingly called each other "bottomheads." I told her about Edgie's nightly ritual, which, as if on cue, he performed in front of her.

After his bath while getting his pajamas on, he pats his little boy package. "This my penis?" He asks.

"Yes it is," I answer knowing what the next question will be.

"What's this?" He asks, reaching around to his backside.

"It's your bottom," I say, bracing myself.

"No, it's my BUTT!" He says, giggling in his little toddler voice, and again, explosive big brother laughter from the next bedroom.

And thanks to the commercials for Kids Bop 729, he knows how to sing "Poppin' Tags," too. "This a feakin' awesome," he sings and giggles.

I'm just hoping that come fall, he won't be "that kid" at preschool who teaches all the other two year olds naughty words. If that happens, I think I'm going to be meeting a lot of the other moms rather quickly!

Have your kids picked up any words you don't want them to say? Please tell me yes.

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