Simply Having a Wonderful Christmas

It was Christmas Eve. The eleventh hour. And I was still scrambling to get everything done.

Presents wrapped, house cleaned, food made.

We were hosting Christmas this year for my side of the family. Hubby kept reminding me that it was just family. Just 18 people.

Who were family, by the way, so why did it matter what the house looked like? There would be enough food, and everyone would have a wonderful time, he kept assuring me.

I knew this. I knew it. But Christmas always stresses me out, almost to the point that I dread it. With the snowstorm on Thursday and the boys being off school, there were a few things I didn't get done - namely, getting Hubby's special gluten-free cookies. Which makes me feel really awful since he always makes Christmas special for me (he actually did all the shopping for the boys this year!).

And I forgot to get the ingredients to make cinnamon rolls for Christmas morning. I always make cinnamon rolls.

I'd been snapping at the boys. Making demands. Pick this up! Clean this mess! Put this away! Everyone has to help!

I was feeling horrible. Why do I get so stressed? Why do I wait until the last minute to get everything finished? What makes me forget so many of our special things?

What's wrong with me?

The boys were invited over to their cousins' house to play Christmas Eve morning. I think it was to keep all the boys occupied so my sister-in-law and I both could finish Christmas preparations. I planted myself in the basement with my wrapping supplies, and I wrapped like a mad woman.

I was listening to Pandora, and for some reason, there was a heavy volume of children's songs being played. Each time I heard their sweet little voices singing carols, my eyes welled with tears.

It made me think of Joey.

But I pressed on and kept wrapping, thinking to myself how lucky it was that I had told the boys that elves are messy creatures. And how lucky it was that my boys wouldn't care about bows or ribbons.

I was all done by 11:30 that evening, and morning came quickly, before 7:00 a.m.

6:50, actually, and it was all said and done by 7:06 a.m.

The boys tore open each present in a matter of seconds with shouts of, "COOL!" "IT'S JUST WHAT I WANTED!" quickly moving on to the next gift.

And as I sat on the couch, still in a sleepy haze contemplating coffee or tea, I realized that no one had expressed disappointment. No one had simply said, "Oh," and moved on.

In fact, I heard seven-year-old Knox exclaim, "This has been the best Christmas ever!"

We had celebrated with Hubby's side of the family on Sunday. Hubby's huge, chaotic, loud, wonderful family which is now made up of 57 people! All but eight were there.

This isn't even half of his family. There are more somewhere!!

I have always wanted to be a part of a big family. The dynamics among the cousins and in-laws are warm and sweet and sometimes simply hilarious. It's truly a gift that everyone gets along so well. And even though I sit and observe the chaos with no gift in hand (Hubby opts us out of the gift exchange, and I am no one's godmother), I never feel left out. But rather, blessed.

And then there was that moment yesterday, as I was standing in the kitchen. I was still dressed up from Christmas mass - heels and a pencil skirt and a cute peplum top. I had my apron on and Hubby was next to me chopping onions for soup. The boys were playing with their new toys in the family room and someone yelled into the kitchen, "Mom, what's 8 times 8?"

As I answered quickly and kept stirring whatever it was I was stirring, I felt a wave of gratitude and happiness wash over me.

For this.

This is what I had always wanted in my life - this "kiss-your-frog-marry-your-prince-and-live-happily-ever-after" life.

I have it. Standing all dressed up in my kitchen with an apron on making Christmas food for my family while my children play. This.

However, this life may not be perfect because we are grieving the loss of someone.

This Christmas may not be perfect because Mommy kept forgetting to move the elf and she forgot the cookies and the cinnamon rolls and wrapped the presents hastily and snapped at people.

But no one really noticed that except for me. So it didn't really matter after all.

And Slim has made sure that Joey has been with us all Christmas season. He brought Joey's beloved stuffed animal, Stripey Kitten, downstairs to "help" us decorate the tree Thanksgiving weekend. And even though I keep telling him to put her back, he keeps bringing her out every time we do something Christmassy. So I know he's thinking of Joey, too, and giving us a little reminder of his presence.

So in the end, I didn't really screw anything up too badly - not that anyone noticed anyway. My small family all said they had a lovely time celebrating at our house, and there was even food left over.

 Hmm, maybe if I'm still hungry, I can lick
some of the frosting off that adorable face.

It's clear to me as I sit and reflect on how the holiday went for us all, despite my perceived failures and foibles, it was a pretty great Christmas after all. I think it's safe to say that everyone had a simply wonderful Christmas.

I know I did.



What I Wouldn't Give

Just like most parents, this weekend Hubby and I were kind of lax and reflective when it came to our sons. We insisted on a family night on Saturday despite their protests of not wanting to put on nice pants to go to dinner.

We smiled through the whining during dinner and gave calm reminders to use quiet voices at the restaurant.

We gently chided with them about which Christmas lights we would look at and which neighborhoods we would drive through.

And one of us gave someone a dessert even though it was well past bedtime. Because he was crying that he hadn't liked his desert earlier.

One of us made chocolate chip cookies for the Sunday School program she forgot about while the one year old sat on the counter and "helped.".

And one of us just enjoyed the extra snuggle time with said one year old until midnight because he had fallen asleep in the car earlier looking at the Christmas lights.

Almost all of us parents gave extra desserts, played longer, and hugged harder this weekend.

And then maybe some of us yelled again this morning at someone to get dressed, find his glasses, just get in the car already.

And that's okay, too.

They're kids, people we love. We only get irritated with people we love. If we don't care about someone, we don't give a rip what they do, right?

The Sunday School program has been the same every year. The little cherubs stumble through the alphabet telling the story of Jesus' birth.

This year, I looked at it with new eyes. I looked up on stage and saw a bunch of babies - four and five year olds - with bright little faces. Most were like deer in headlights, scared to even move or sing.

But not my little five year old rockstar!

Mommy, I'm an angel! And I'm wearing this
on my head. But it kinda itches.



As soon as Lil' C found us, his adorable face broke out into one of his huge, toothy grins. "Hi Mommy! Hi Daddy!" Yes, my child was the only child shouting from the stage.

The entire performance, he smiled and waved at us frantically.

And I smiled back and waved frantically, too.

And I cried thinking of 20 families who do not get this today. Who do not get to see their child frantically smiling and waving any more. I didn't think there was enough room in my heart for both the fullness of love and the ache of hurt.

But, it's been there before. It made me think of three days after Joey's funeral. Slim was in a Vacation Bible School program. I was listening to the children's sweet voices and feeling so angry because Joey should have been one of the children on stage. I had to leave, go out to the lobby, and have a cry.

What I wouldn't give to have Joey back with us. What those 20 families wouldn't give to have their children today. To have it be just another ordinary day - drop off and errands and dinner started and pick-up and homework and bedtime.

What I wouldn't give for this world to be safe and happy for my kids.

We all say at some time: What I wouldn't give to be able to pee in peace/have a night out with my friends/have a date with my spouse/have some quiet time for me/go on an adult vacation.

We all would give anything for a little more freedom sometimes.

Except our children. As much as they make us angry, drive us nuts, get on our nerves, piss us off, the bottom line is they are our lives. They reside in our hearts and souls, and we would give our lives for them. I don't know how anyone can be a parent and not think that way.

I would give anything to raise them in a world where people are kind and generous and understanding. Where everyone smiles and loves one another and holds hands and sings, like the old Coca-Cola commercial of the 1970's.

But it's not that simple of a time anymore, just like the '70's weren't really a simple time either.

I would give anything for assault rifles to be banned from getting into the hands of ordinary citizens. For violent games and movies to be banned and for violence to be abhorred rather than glorified.

I would give anything for the news media to just go away. Stop going over and over the details of every shooting - the weapons used, the bullets used, what the bullets do, how the shooter accessed the building. One channel of our local news the other night said they would not say the shooter's name out of respect for the victims. Finally. It took 6- and 7-year-old babies to bring a little respect from the news media.

I would give anything to know for certain that my boys will be safe and happy their whole lives. To never be the victims of violence or cancer or freak accidents. I would give anything to be certain that they would never be the cause of harm to anyone else. But even that I cannot guarantee.

I would give anything if I knew all the answers or how to fix things or make the world a better place.

But I don't. I can only give the best that I have and teach that to my children. That's all any of us can do.

Read here for 7 ways to keep your kids safe from gun violence. 

A Letter to the Sandy Hook Parents

Dear Sandy Hook Parents:

How do I begin a letter to you? How do I begin typing a letter through my tears and anguish for you? What can I possibly say to you to take your pain away, slap the shock down, rip the anger out?

How?

Why?

As you woke up today without your precious children, or spent the night awake in anguish, I know this is what you are thinking. The hole in your hearts is raw, a fresh wound that you know will never heal.

A beast took your child away from you without your permission, without your consent, without your knowledge. You will never be the same again.

Although my situation is different, I too have lost a kindergartner to a beast. The cancer beast came and took my child. It crept up on him slowly, and then after one day, one frightful seizure and ambulance ride later, nothing was ever the same. Although my child lived for thirteen more months, my child as I knew him was gone forever after that one day.

I want to tell you, even though you cannot see it now, that you will be okay. Even though a piece of your heart and soul has been ripped from your body, you will be okay.

It seems impossible to think that will you ever laugh again or dance or speak in a silly voice or be goofy.

But you will. You will catch yourself doing it one day, and it will surprise you. It will even make you feel guilty.

You will feel guilty for laughing one day.

But I promise you, the day will come when you will laugh again.

Because right now, something amazing is happening - real life angels are lifting you up in prayer. People you have never met, will never meet, have yet to meet, are lifting you up. They are crying for you and with you, and they are creating the footprints in the sand. They are carrying you through this terrible, unimaginable thing that has happened in your lives.

People you don't even know will send you letters with prayers, letters with strong words, letters of faith and healing. They will call you strong and graceful and amazing. They will marvel at your strength and hold you up as an example of resiliency.

But you will not believe them, not now.

But as time marches on, as unfortunately it will, you will slowly begin to believe them. You will slowly realize that you will not let this tragedy break you. You realize that this WILL NOT BREAK YOU. You will steel yourself against the idea that a beast with a gun has the right to rob you of all the moments of joy and happiness in your lives.

Because you will find joy and happiness again. You will be able to talk about and remember your child and the happiness he or she brought to your life. You will laugh as you remember the goofy things he did, or you will smile telling a story about one of her big accomplishments.

This day will come - I promise you.

Yes, you will forever be changed - of course. You will forever have a gaping, aching hole in your heart. You will have days where you will want to throw things, smash things, and curse God about the unfairness of it all. You will constantly be waiting for the other shoe to drop, for the next tragic thing to happen. You will look over your shoulder and hold your other children a little too tightly sometimes.

You will stand in a Build-A-Bear store three years from now and cry because you will see a new bear that is in your child's favorite color, and the cuteness of this bear will hurt you so much because you know that you would give anything to buy this bear if only your child were here.

Colors, games, foods - random things will make you sad.

But that's okay. Because you will know that you have loved and you will know that you can still love. It will make you realize that that beast did not steal your ability to love and feel love.

You will find yourself one day reaching out to someone who has lost a child. Even though it hurts to be asked, you give your advice, your words of comfort, support and condolence.

You will do this.

You will be okay.

You will find a way to help others because of this terrible thing that has happened to you.

Maybe you will make huge, sweeping change in gun laws or school security or mental health treatment.

Maybe you will silently and anonymously send letters to grieving families.

Maybe you will buy a bear at Build-A-Bear for another child in your child's honor.

Any way that you help is okay.

Just as you know - you must know - that any way that you grieve is okay.

It is okay to grieve in any way you want. It is your right. That can not be taken from you.

But please know this, these two things: Many people are holding you up in prayer. Right now. Oh, yes, some people will forget about you in a month's or year's time after crapiversaries are marked and the tragedy is remembered. But there will be people who will hold you in their hearts forever - I promise you that. I promise you will feel their love and support always.

The second thing I want you to remember is to not let that beast steal any more moments of joy and happiness from your lives.  Those are yours. He already took away one of the most precious things in your life. He doesn't get everything else, too. Everything else is yours.

My heart and soul are with you today. They will be with you always.

I have the most beautiful picture in my mind. It is a picture of all the little children taken from us too soon - from cancer, from violence, from disease or hunger. They are running and playing and laughing. And they all have their own bear that reminds them of home. The angels are making sure they are having fun.

I don't know how to end this letter. I don't want to end it. I want it to end in a huge hug. So I will end it with my promise to pray for you, every day. And a promise to do good things in this world - this crazy, insane world - for your child and for mine.

Love,
Kathy


Read here for 7 ways to keep your kids safe from gun violence. 

It's Not All Tears and Sadness

I've been writing a lot of melancholy posts lately. There's no doubt that this time of year, more than at any other, makes me think of my dear sweet little boy who I am missing terribly.

And it also doesn't escape my notice that when I write about Joey, I get a lot of responses - thankfully, positive and supportive. I write about him because it's my way of remembering him or making sure I never forget what we went through. It's a lot cheaper than therapy, too, and much better feedback.

 

 

Despite sadness that plagues me especially hard this time of year, I have had a really good week. One of my goals for a while has been to have a piece published on Mamapedia. I have found some really great bloggers from their reposts on that site. I have submitted seven times - seven times - and heard nothing. Finally, I heard back. And even though the editor chopped it up a bit, I finally made my Mamapedia debut. You can read my Mamapedia post here.

I was thrilled to have such a nice response. And I welcome anyone who is new here from finding me at Mamapedia. I hope you'll stick around for some serious, some silly, and mostly real looks at our life.

Then, because I thought it looked like fun and because I love Kim, I took some silly pictures of our Elf on the Shelf, Elfie Oodle and sent them to her other blog, Elf Shaming. Here is the cute post she wrote about him. Totally rated G, of course; but while you're there, browse around at what some other naughty elves are up to. I promise it will help relieve some of your holiday stress and sadness.

And then, so exciting, The Huffington Post ran some of Kim's naughty elves, and mine was one of them! Okay, so my elf made it to the Huff Po before I did, but he's a little more ambitious than me.

And my boys, my real-life boys . . . they've been fun this week. Oh, I must admit it wasn't too fun when the third-grade teacher was waiting to tell me that Slim said Dammit to one of the other kids in the bathroom on Tuesday (Hubby and I are still deciding whose fault that is. I'll let you know when we decide. It's his.). And a certain small child has learned how to say no, shake his head, and stick out his tongue (again, fault is being located, but my money is on certain older brothers).


But, I'm filled with sweetness and love for all the guys in my house this week. I'm looking forward to a joyous holiday in which some good memories are made and remembered.

Love to you all and happy holidays (but don't worry, you'll hear from me sooner).

Pictures Can Lie

I'm so unenthused about sending out holiday cards. I have been since 2009. Actually, it's been a lot longer than that.

When I was single, I would dread getting holiday cards. I would open the envelopes and be greeted by a baby picture, adorably coiffed little toddlers, or an entire family smiling back at me.

And even though I rolled my eyes, I wanted nothing more than to be able to send out one of those cards. A card with a happy, smiling family. The names and ages of all the sweet little children listed along the bottom. Perfect card, perfect family.

But, ha ha, the joke was on me. Even when I had a family, it was far from perfect.

And not until Joey was sick did we finally have one of "those" cards to send.

I remember the debacle of trying to take a photo for our holiday card the first year we had kids. We were living on Long Island and had no idea where to go for pictures, so we decided to take our own. Hubby and I were each holding a squirmy eleven-month-old baby. I put the camera on auto and kept running back and forth to reset it. The babies wouldn't smile, it was blurry for some reason, and we all had red eye. I ended up just taking a cute picture of the babies in Christmas jammies, and Hubby thought of a funny holiday letter "top ten" a la David Letterman.

The next year, with three babies under the age of two, we made an appointment to have a professional photo taken. The photographer actually wanted 23-month-old Joey to hold 4-month-old Knox on his lap for the photo. Hubby and I stood just outside the frame with our arms outstretched ready to catch the baby should Joey drop him. Needless to say, we didn't get a picture that year. In fact, I don't think I even sent a card that year.

The next few years, as December approached, I would try to corral all the boys for a cute candid shot I could make into a card. I'd seen it for years on other people's cards. Remember the smiling, happy families? They'd be posed somewhere on vacation or at a pumpkin patch or in front of a Christmas display or cutely tangled in Christmas lights with Santa hats on.

All I ever got were blurry photos with someone either not looking at the camera, not smiling, or walking out of the frame.

When I started paying for professional photos of the boys, they turned out a little better, but all the photos were the same - all the little boys in a row sitting cross legged on the floor in front of a white background. Cute, but not very original.

Hubby and I never really cared to be in the pictures; therefore, we had no family pictures of us.

That is, until we found out Joey was dying. Then we scrambled to set up a photo session.

And ironically, I finally had my perfect candid shot of what appeared to be a perfect family:

This picture lies. It shows a darling, happy, vibrant family, not a family who knows they will have to come to grips with losing one of their own. You wouldn't know that beautiful child in the middle was just given a death sentence.

The next year, after Joey's death, the last thing I wanted to do was send out Christmas cards. I had always signed each of our names on every card:

Love, Kathy, Hubby, Joey, Slim, Knox, and Lil' C.

How could I send out a picture and not sign all of our names? A picture that didn't include Joey because he was gone?

I didn't know if I was ever going to feel like sending out a Christmas card ever again.

But then, someone else showed up, and things changed. Suddenly, last year, we had a new baby. So I sent out a card with a picture we had taken ourselves.





Except for the mama's sad looking eyes in this picture, everyone looks happy. Although, I couldn't stop staring at the empty spot over my left shoulder thinking someone should be there. So I left all of our names off and signed it simply from The Frog Family.

This year, we decided it was time again for a nice family picture. I put off scheduling it, though. The certificate for the session was about to expire. We had to do it soon. I told the photographer about our situation. About missing someone from our family. She gave me an idea of how everyone could be in the picture together, even Joey and the new baby. Hubby wasn't so sure about it.

But then we saw the result:

For once, the picture doesn't lie. It shows a family. A happy family. But not a perfect family. A family who is missing someone. Someone who should be filling that space over my left shoulder.

Instead, he's filling that space in our hearts.

I signed all of our names: Kathy, Hubby, Slim, Knox, Lil' C, and Baby E. The photographer asked if I wanted to include Joey's name. I said we didn't need to.

The picture tells his story. The picture doesn't lie.

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Why You Should Do Your Holiday Shopping at Trader Joe's

In the ongoing Whole Foods vs. Trader Joe's debate, I've always been a Whole Foods gal, pretty much by default. When Hubby was diagnosed with Celiac Disease years back, Whole Foods was our only option in town to find the gluten free foods he needed.

Even though our neighborhood grocery store is carrying many more of our favorite gluten free foods (due to the fact that I am there like, eight times a week and they don't want to lose such a great customer), I am still at Whole Foods at least once or twice a month to get a few things our neighborhood store doesn't carry, organic produce, and some natural beauty items and vitamins that I can't find anywhere else.

And I walk out of there needing to take out a second mortgage on our house. I mean, Jimeny Christmas, that store is expensive!

So when Trader Joe's came to our city over a year ago, friends encouraged me to go there. Encouraged may be a bit tame of a word. They insisted and demanded I go. In fact, some even called me crazy for not going. I really think my college roommate stopped answering my e-mails just because I hadn't gone to Trader Joe's yet.

I mean, I didn't get the big fascination, the love affair, with Trader Joe's. It's just a store, right? So what if they sell the best $2 bottle of wine on the market. I even thumbed my nose at that, wine snob that Hubby has made me.

The catalyst for losing my Trader Joe's virginity came in the form of a flyer we received in the mail the other day. As I quickly glanced at it before depositing it into the recycling sack, words like sea salt, dark chocolate, caramel delights, chocolate gift bars, special wine, relaxing bath salts jumped off the page at me.

And the prices! Nothing was over $9.99.

Today I had a babysitter. After a loooong week of being in the house - cuddling - with sick kids, I had to get out and get some things done. So armed with the flyer in my hand and visions of this so-called Two Buck Chuck Wine, I headed to Trader Joe's.

And now, in just half an hour and about two hundred dollars later, I have gifts for 26 people. Now that's what I'm talking about!

Those of you who have been with me for a while, know that I am not a review or giveaway blog, nor do I write sponsored posts (not saying that I won't someday). So, no, Trader Joe's did not compensate me to write this post. All of the opinions are mine just because I want to share with you some great ideas for teacher and co-worker gifts at a great price. Call it my gift to you (and a break from some of my more serious posts).

So here we go.

Now, first of all, here is a list of all the people I am buying for:

• Hubby's two partners and their wives and an associate and his wife
• Lil C's five (yes FIVE) preschool teachers (I adore them!)
• Slim's speech therapist who has been a part of our lives for over six years. Again, I adore her.
• Slim's third grade teacher and teacher assistant.
• While I was at it, I picked up something for the other two third grade teachers and their assistants (Slim's a handful, I recognize this. They should get a little something.)
• Knox's first grade teacher and her assistant
• Because there were so many great, inexpensive options, I picked something up for the principal and the assistant principal in charge of special education because they have been very responsive and understanding to Slim's needs this year.
• And because I felt bad leaving her out even though we have no interaction with her, the other assistant principal.
• And then I saw something that one of Hubby's sisters would like.
• The kindergarten teachers that Joey, Slim, and Knox all had and I'm hoping Lil' C will get, too. (A little bribery never hurts. No, seriously, they are amazing, and I will never forget everything they did for Joey during his only year at school.)

You're thinking "IS SHE CRAZY??WHY IN THE HELL IS SHE BUYING SHIT FOR ALL THESE PEOPLE?" (Okay, maybe only Hubby is yelling that.) But, you're right - I don't have to.

But, I want to. I like to give gifts, even small ones, just to show my appreciation and love for all these people who are so important in our lives and our children's lives.

So, here's the stash (and I apologize in advance for my poor picture taking skills):

 

Creamy cheese paired with a delicious pinot? Yes, please. These are going to make great gifts for Hubby's partners. Every year, he makes a basket filled with delicious goodies to show his partners and their wives how much he enjoys working with them. This year, I'm adding in some luscious smelling French soaps (see below) and some candy and a desert wine that Hubby found and voila - a tasty basket they can use for entertaining.

 

 

You know bath items are going to be good when you can smell their fragrance through the package. I've had these permanently glued to my nose since I've been home. Perfect for fancying up a bathroom or soaking in the tub after a long day with kids, these are going to make great teacher gifts.

 

 

 

How could I possibly go wrong with huge $1.99 chocolate bars that are already festively wrapped? These are ideal for all the teacher assistants working with Slim in the other classes. Just a little treat for your trouble. I got the box of cookies for someone who has small children of her own so that her whole family can enjoy them.

 

 

 

No, I didn't take this picture at the store. I actually bought all of these. For five dollars a box, I figured I could get one for almost everyone on my list. Although, once I got to the checkout, I began to wonder, What if these really suck? My cashier assured me I could return them.

 

                                           

 

I don't think that will be necessary. The right amount of salt, sweet, and creaminess make these a perfect holiday treat.    

                                        

I also found Salted Caramel Chai Tea Latte Mix for $3.99 for the boys' favorite aunt, and some antibacterial soap in a beautiful bottle also for $3.99 for the germaphobe on my list.

 

Some of these gifts I will pair together, but some can stand alone. I figure, everyone can use food - either for themselves, to set out at their holiday get-togethers, or to take places as hostess gifts. I'm really happy with all of my finds. I was stuck in a rut of coffee gift cards and holiday ornaments (nothing wrong with those, unless your kids have had the same teachers and you've given those in previous years).

 

To add a few more ideas to this list, in previous years, Hubby and I have given Williams-Sonoma's Peppermint Bark as gifts. At about $25/tin, it can get pricey, even when they have a special on it. Recently, I discovered Costco's Kirkland brand peppermint bark. It is just as good, and at half the price, it's the perfect substitute. I believe it is $10.99, but I had trouble searching for it on Costco's site. I just bought it before Thanksgiving, though, and I'm planning on going back for more.

 

We are lucky to live in the Midwest where we have excellent beef (so I'm told - I don't eat much red meat). Hubby is always disappointed when we eat at a steak house while travelling. There is nothing like a steak from Omaha Steaks. Right now, they are having an excellent Christmas sale. And with free shipping, get some for yourself, too! Theirs are the only hamburgers I will eat, and their fish is wonderful as well. They also have hot dogs, potatoes, and cheesecake. Hmmmm...

 

So, there you go. Some holiday gift ideas for almost everyone on your list. Will I go back to Whole Foods, you ask. I'm sure I will. I'm a creature of habit, and I didn't see my favorite vegan cookies or the shower soap I love at TJ's. But I'll definitely hit Trader Joe's again.

 

And now for some questions:

 

Have you tried any of these products? What did you think? Would you like any of these as gifts? Are you done shopping? Do you have any great, money saving ideas to add?

 

And lastly, have you tried Two Buck Chuck? Because I walked out without it, and I want to know if I should go back for it.

 

 

 





 

 





Fa La La La La, La Cough, Cough, Puke

December stresses me out. So much to get done, so much to do.

Addressing holiday cards, baking, shopping, wrapping, cleaning the house for guests, buying gifts for teachers.

Parties, school Christmas pageants, holiday shows, light displays. 

Sometimes I wish all other responsibilities during the month of December would fade away.

Forget the Elf on the Shelf - I need a Laundry Elf, a Taxi Elf, a Shopping and Wrapping Elf, a Christmas Card Addressing Elf. Oh, and of course, a Housekeeping Elf.

I want to be able to enjoy this time. I love Christmas - really I do. The magic and wonder, the music and lights. All good if they could exist in a vacuum.

The faster Christmas comes, the more I'm dreading its conclusion.

The months of January, February, and March rarely bring much to be excited about in Nebraska. The ice and snow, the wind and bitter cold.

And I know, I just know, it is the start of the cold and flu season. Three months of tummy aches, puking, green snotty noses, being stuck in the house with sick and crabby kids, stripping bed linens in the middle of cold nights to change someone's puked on sheets, constantly being out of ibuprofen and orange juice.

Here, it's already started. Someone in my house has been sick since before Thanksgiving. If you have a big family, you know how it goes. They can't all be sick at the same time. That would be too convenient, too easy. Too "mommy-wins-the-sickness-lottery"!

Nope. They just get sick one after the other after the other. Like a twenty-car pile-up on the Long Island Expressway, it just keeps happening and happening.

First, my 7-year-old had croup. He's been getting that since he was a baby. It took him down for almost a week this time. Every time I thought he was getting better, he would cough and cough until he puked. He was home from school for 4 days.

Next, my eight-year-old had a cold. Not bad, but bad enough to make him tired all the time, weepy, irrational, combative at school. Lots of time spent talking him out of sad and weepy thoughts about his deceased twin brother. And one meeting at school to discuss his behavior.

Now, my five-year-old and 17-month-old are sick with horrible coughs, colds and fevers. The five-year-old has missed school for two days now, and the 17-month-old isn't taking naps. He just wants to be held.

My precious two hours of alone time every day? Pfft! Gone. I have gotten nothing done since before Thanksgiving, people.

But you know what?

It's okay. I know it's not their fault that they're sick. I'm trying not to let it add stress to an already stressful time.

Besides the 4 a.m. bed linen changes, I'm enjoying cuddling with them. Sometimes when they are sick, it's the only time they will slow down long enough to be held.

And the other gift their illnesses have brought?

Time. Time with each one. Time to sit on the couch and watch movies or play a game or read a story. Just time to stay home for a change. I feel like all semester every morning I have had to run to this class or lesson or this appointment or that meeting, volunteer here or do this.

Time for the commitments to fade away for a while.

There's something nice about just clearing the schedule and staying firmly planted at home.

Even if it is with a bunch of sickies.

Now if only those damn elves would hurry up and get here. I wonder what's keeping them?



 How's everyone at your house?