The Black Day Book. It's a Scream.

"On Halloween morning, Brad delivered newspapers on his bicycle and, like every other morning, he did it while wishing he was a rockstar instead of a paperboy."

The opening line from the soon-to-be released new book, Black Day: The Monster Rock Band, had my boys and me hooked. We love Halloween and - let's face it - we've all wished we could be someone other than who we are, if even just for a day.

But it's what happens next that had us all in the true spirit of Halloween - in June! Brad discovers that a monster rock band is playing in a local garage . . .and he wants in! This book is full of fun right up to the last page. And, as a bonus, the illustrations are cute rather than spooky so that even my three-year-old could enjoy the story.

One of the coolest things about this book, though, is that it was written by a young man with Down Syndrome. Marcus Sikora is 25 and is an extremely creative soul. He is an actor and a writer who loves theater, singing, and exercising. His mom, Mardra, is the beautiful writer behind the blog Grown Ups and Downs. I got them both to answer some questions about Marcus's creative process and spill a little dirt about his next book.

KTF: Have you always loved reading books?
Marcus: I like to read books.

KTF: Which are your favorites?
Marcus: Black Day, Phantom of the Opera 
Mardra: Marcus participates in the Next Chapter Book Club. It has really encouraged him socially and has introduced him to books that he would never try with me).

KTF: Are you a musician? Or have you wanted to be in a rock band yourself? 

Marcus: Skeleton Pumpkin Head is the lead singer of the band, like me. 

Mardra: Marcus voices SPH on the DVD and on the song Black Day, both to be released later this summer. Many authors include their alter egos in their story. Marcus is SPH. 

KTF: How did you get the idea for the book? 

Marcus: I got the idea for a monster rock band while we were staying in a cabin at Mahoney State Park.

KTF: How long did it take you to write this book? 

Mardra: We took about a year, working in small chunks, to write and edit the story. Then over another year in getting the book illustrated and the DVD voiced and animated. Publishing a book is not for the faint of heart!

KTF: Why did you pick Halloween as the holiday for the book? Is it your favorite holiday?

Marcus: Yes!

KTF: Will your next book be centered around a certain holiday? 

Marcus: Book Two will be more with Brad and the monster band. Watch BlackDayBook.com.

KTF: Mardra, how do you encourage and support Marcus' talent for writing? 

Mardra: Weekly writing sessions.

KTF: How much did you help him or was this all his own idea?  

Mardra: His idea, his dialogue, and his plot twists. I added the fluffy words. My primary job is to get the details and ask “then what?”

KTF: Is he getting a big head from the fame or is he the same Marcus you know and love? 

Mardra: Ha! We’ll see after this book tour. He knows his job now is to autograph books and make labels for shipping.

KTF: Anything else about the process or about Marcus or your relationship that you want to add?

Mardra: The process of getting the book and DVD made has been more about community than I expected - from the people who voice, to the incredible work of the illustrator, Noah Witchell, and how his family is so on board and connected to Marcus’ vision, Brad (who voiced, Brad), the musicians on the song, and so much more. It’s just been crazy and cool.

Black Day: The Monster Rock Band will be available to order this Saturday, June 20th, which coincidentally is Marcus's 25th birthday! Use this link to order, or visit Mardra's website. 

If you are in Omaha on July 11th, Mardra and Marcus will be at The Bookworm for a 1:00 p.m. reading and book signing, so you can meet this incredible duo in person. 

I'm honored to be giving away one copy of the book to a lucky reader in the United States. Marcus will sign the book and send it to you after July 7th. Just fill out the Rafflecopter below, and be sure to check out Grown Ups and Downs, the blog, and follow them on Facebook. You can follow Marcus on Twitter here and Mardra here. Read a post that will give you the good chills about Marcus and Mardra here. 

a Rafflecopter giveaway

I just love these two, and I hope you will, too!

*This giveaway has ended. 

It's not about you or me. It's about compassion.

I'm going to cut to the chase here and go ahead and say something.

Not everything is about you. And it's not about me either.

This? Just no. 

Whew. It feels good to say that.

Sure, sure, we WANT everything to be about us. But it's not. The simple fact of the matter is that we share this space with 7.125 billion other people (2013). Wow, that's a lot of diversity. Billions of other beliefs, religions, creeds, needs, and wants.

We should really find a way to peacefully COEXIST. But we don't, and we see evidence of that every day.

We certainly see it in the news with genocide and war and racism and religious atrocities. These are on a national and global scale and seem so daunting. How can we change any of that?

The answer is - we can't. 

But we can start by making small changes on a small scale.

I always tell my sons that it is okay to feel angry or sad or impatient or jealous or to feel like you don't like someone. We all have a right to our feelings. 

But what we do with those feelings is our responsibility. 

Think about the lessons we teach our children:

1. If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all.
2. Be nice. Play fair. And share.
3. Treat others the way you would like to be treated. 
4. Include everyone.
5. Follow the rules. 

Even as we are teaching these things to our children, we are ignoring them as adults. 

1. We are being an Internet Troll. 
2. We are taking credit for something at work that we didn't do. 
3. We are making racist or homophobic jokes. 
4. We are looking down at parents who are not raising their kids the way we raise ours. 
5. We are cutting in line because we are late or only have one item. 

And guess what? Our kids see this. So the cycle never stops. I am not perfect. I do it, too. I am always late and impatient and angry. And I hear my kids mimic what I say and do, and it breaks my heart. Because that is not what my heart wants. My heart wants love and kindness and inclusion and happiness. When my mind and actions are angry, I am sad and lonely. But when my mind is open and helpful, I am happy. One simple action can turn everything around.

And it starts with compassion. 

Sure I'm late, but someone else might be, too. Ugh, this line is so long, but complaining about it isn't making it go faster. It bothers me that people don't vaccinate their kids, but they have reasons for their beliefs just as I do. 

See how it works? 

Walk a mile in their shoes. And instead, do these:

1. "I'd love to hear why you made that decision." "That's so interesting. Tell me more." "You must be having a hard day. Can I help?"
2. Let the person behind you with one item or a crying toddler go ahead of you in the checkout line. Instead of taking another trip or another night out, donate your money, time, and resources to someone who really needs them. 
3. Realize that everyone - despite outward appearances - is fighting some kind of battle. Smile, help, hold the door. Tell them to have a nice day. 
4. Recognize that there is more than one way of doing anything. Know that we choose the way that is best for us. So do other people. 
5. Know that rules are made for a reason - usually safety. Everyone has to follow them. Accept that. 

Listen, I am FAR from perfect. I mess up fifteen times a day. But a compassionate person can reel herself back in and recognize what is right and what is wrong. What is going to hurt herself and others and what is going to help everyone. 

It sucks that everything can't be about me, me, me all the time; but that doesn't make people happy. And if people aren't happy . . .umm, well, then no one is happy, right? Sometimes you have to sacrifice a bit of your own happiness to make others happy. And when others are happy, that happiness comes back to you. It's called compassion. 

These? Absolutely!

This post was part of a larger blogger movement called #1000Speak for compassion. We have voices, and we create beautiful words. We want to use them for good. Check out some of the other posts on compassion here. (At the bottom of the post is a little blue box with a frog that says "Click to view and add your links. Click that to see so many other amazing posts on compassion!!)

Have a great day!!

Around the Pond with the Frog ~ August 2014

We are finally to the end of August. I never thought we would get here. My babysitter quit at the beginning of August, and the boys started fighting All. The. Time, and I never thought school would start.

But it finally did.

And now I'm scrubbing woodwork and making appointments with "stagers" so our house can go on the market in a week. I'm kind of freaking out about how to keep it clean and organized with four messy, rambunctious boys around. Oh, who also do this:

Edgie vs. a lawn chair. 5 stitches. And yes, he wanted
a pink band-aid. He's three, so it's okay. He'll forget,
but I'm scarred for life.

Anyway, I did manage to make words this month, so here's what you might have missed:

• I talked about how we need to be careful before we get all judgy judgy because anyone could be hiding something.
• After watching the Little League World Series, I shared some things I learned. 
• I sang the praises of Whole Foods Market. 
• I was at Mamalode talking about the Worst Kind of Mom Guilt. . .
• . . . and The Time I Gave Up One Dream Job for Another. 
• I added my wisdom to Coach Daddy's Six Words series and gave a hint of what I thought my legacy would be. 

September is going to be a big month. Our house goes up for sale, I have some great books to review for you, and it's Childhood Cancer Awareness Month, so I'm trying to cook something up for that. Please stay tuned. I love having you here!

Can You Stop Time By Saving Memories?

You all know by now that the Frog family is moving. Probably not until the fall, but I will go crazy if I don't start to pack and weed things out now. So that's what I'm doing.

If you've ever engaged in this process - which, as painful as it is, I highly recommend - you know it can be difficult for many reasons. There is the stuff you like, but can't currently find a use for. There is the stuff that was a great deal, but that you have absolutely no use for, there are your favorite things that you have outgrown (literally and figuratively) and can't bear to part with, and there are the things that simply hold memories within.

For me the latter category is proving the hardest to weed out. And I will probably write about this a lot in the coming months. If you are sick of hearing about it, I understand. Please click here to read I Wish I Could Stop Time on Mamalode.* Please click here if you just want to go pee/make yourself a sandwich/have more important things to do right now. You can close the window when you get back.

For those of you who just love my writings on Mamalode (thank you for that), you can read two of my latest here and here.

*Edited to point out that someone else has put their name on my writing. But rest assured, the words are all mine. 

Introducing Some Super Cool Lady Writers

About two weeks ago, I told you about my new status as a Super Cool Lady Writer and how I'm flexing my comedy chops in an upcoming book, I Just Want to Be Alone. 

With me in the book are some old friends, bloggers I regularly read and share on my Facebook page. I'm also really enjoying getting know some other bloggers I've just "met." They are all super hilarious, and I want you to meet them, too. They have spilled secrets and are making us all laugh. Read on to see what they have to say about all sorts of very important topics.

Q: How did you come up with the name of your blog?

• My blog's name is "You're my favorite today" because it's something I regularly say to one of my children. But only one of them.  -- Michelle Newman, You're my favorite today.
• My blog's name is "Abby Has Issues" because a) I'm a magazine editor/writer and b) I have serious issues. See what I did there? --Abby Heugel, Abby Has Issues
• My first blog name was "Momsenory," which is new-agey and stupid, so I went with "Ninja Mom" instead because I'm a ten-year-old boy. The moral of the story is, blog names are hard. - Nicole Leigh Shaw, NinjaMomBlog.com
• I didn't. The Hubs did. I said I wanted to start a blog and I was going to call it something like Jen's Musings or Just Jen and the Hubs said those were terrible names. He said, "You're always saying you want to punch so and so in the throat. That should be name of your blog and then you can rant about anything you want."  - Jen - People I Want to Punch in the Throat
• There was a country song a few years back and a the singer said she was the keeper of the Cheerios.  But Fruit Loops are much funnier. - Christine, Keeper of The Fruit Loops.

Q: What is your biggest daily accomplishment?

• Brushing my teeth before noon. No, I'm not kidding. --Stephanie,
• WhenCrazyMeetsExhaustion.com 
• Making it until bedtime. — Leanne Shirtliffe, IronicMom.com
• Surviving. - Deva Dalporto, MyLifeSuckers
• I'm trying to think of something I accomplish on a daily basis... thinking... thinking... Really, the only thing I can truly be counted on to do with any regularity is wake up. But not necessarily on time. -- Robyn, HollowTreeVentures.com
• My motto is..."It's 3:00. Have you showered yet?" I'm about 50/50 on most days. -- Stacey Hatton, NurseMommyLaughs.com

Q: If you could sing one song on American Idol, what would it be? 

• "Express Yourself" Salt n Pepa..and I'm certain I'd be asked to leave the show immediately." Andrea C. The Underachiever's Guide to Being a Domestic Goddess
• "Don't Rain on My Parade" from Funny Girl- Rebecca Frugalista Blog (I'm a sucker for a show tune.)
• Any song but "Let it Go". I'm the only Mom in America who hasn't seen Frozen and doesn't know the words to that song. -Bethany Meyer, I Love Them the Most When They're Sleeping
• Karoke is more my style...but if I was on the big stage I would sing "My Love Don't Cost a Thing" just to get on J. Lo's good side (and for future reference, her "good side" is her left because that's next to Harry Connick Jr.) -Katie, Somewhat Sane Mom

Q: When was the last time you cried? 

• At "The Lego Movie." Shut up, you don't know my life. - Nicole Leigh Shaw, NinjaMomBlog.com
• Last week.  When a Mean Mom made me cry for doing what she thought was a suck ass job.  So I blogged about it.  And now who's crying, bitch?  Christine- Keeper Of The Fruit Loops
• Yesterday. We watched Cars for the first time and all I could think was, oh hell no! Winning IS everything. And then I cried because I realized my kids were going to grow up and be a-holes like me. - Lynn, The Nomad Mom Diary
• I spilled milk the other day. Ellen, Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms
• Angry mother bears do not cry. Next question? - Magnolia Ripkin

Q:  What do you think about when you are alone in your car?

• I don't remember what I think about when the people in front of me are slow all the time. I just hate them and wait for a passing opportunity. Then I think I might have road rage. - Magnolia Ripkin
• I find myself writing in my head a lot when I drive, since I can't over-think it (um, I'm driving, so I need to focus on that). It helps the most important ideas float to the surface. - Kim Bongiorno, Let Me Start By Saying
• I finish arguments with more witty comebacks than I did in real life. - Rebecca Frugalista Blog
• NOT IN THIS ORDER: Gotta get to work, gotta grab groceries, gotta be at the school by 3, gotta get to the laundramat, gotta mail the bills, gotta go, gotta go...NEED COFFEEEE. - Andrea C. DG

Q: Which character from Friends would you do and why? 

• Joey. Best pickup line ever "how you doin'?" Meredith, From Meredith to Mommy
• Fun Bobby.  Because Sober Bobby sucked.  -Christine, Keeper of The Fruit Loops
• Chandler, because I always go for the nerdy ones who do some job no one else can explain. - Lynn, The Nomad Mom Diary
• Chandler Bing, because no one quite understands what I do for work, I'm sarcastically defensive, and people often ask if my name is really my name. - Kim Bongiorno, Let Me Start By Saying
• Monica, because she's a spaz and I'm spaz and I actually think she was the funniest of them all.  Katie-Somewhat Sane Mom
• Mike Crapbag. You know, Pheobe's boyfriend played by Paul Rudd. - Amy Flory, FunnyIsFamily.com

 Q: When was the last time you did a happy dance?  

• Last night, and every night, for those five minutes when all of the kids are simultaneously sleeping.  -- Robyn, HollowTreeVentures.com
• In Florida, when I got Jen's email saying I was allowed to be in I Just Want To Be Alone.  I may have violated the waiter and earned a restraining order with said dance but it was worth it.  Christine, Keeper of The Fruit Loops
• Last night when the never ending HS choir concert was over and I got to go home and pour a glass of wine. - Michelle, You're my favorite today. 
• When my husband came home with double fudge Oreos. It doesn't take much to make this mom of five happy-Kristen, Life On Peanut Layne
• I don't do happy dances. It would make me pee involuntarily. -A.K. Turner, AKTurner.com

Again, here are links to ALL the Super Cool Lady Writers' blogs.

When you're finished laughing, order our book! Click the picture below to order in paperback or Kindle on Amazon.

It's also now available for order on iTunes right here.

The official release date is March 22nd. I can't wait!!

My Hubby Even Thinks I'm a Super Cool Lady Writer

I've long considered myself extremely lucky to have such a helpful husband. He's always been willing to cook, wash dishes, and vacuum floors among other household tasks. From the get-go, he was a loving and involved father - he had to be with twins right out of the gate.

He's funny and he's sweet. When I cut myself down, he calls me on it. He might not understand all of my quirks - which are MANY - but he puts up with them. Which is all I really ask anyway.

Just this past weekend, I was kind of going on a little OCD rant about the way the babysitter folded the towels. He said, "Do you hear yourself right now?"

Okay, yes, yes, I may have been over-reacting just a tad.

Later, when we went out to dinner for his birthday and I refused the bread the waitress offered, he said, "Oh, because of your raging diabetes?" Which is of course a nod to the fact that I KNOW I have or will get diabetes because many of my relatives have it and I had gestational diabetes twice.

He never quite makes fun of me outright; it's more of a poking little jab to agree with whatever ridiculous statement I've made.

One thing he's always been supportive about is my writing. From when I started writing about Joey on Caring Bridge to now on the blog, he always has kind or constructive words to say. From telling me he enjoyed a post I wrote about one of the boys or admitting he had to stop reading one about Joey that choked him up or responding, "Of course they do," when I tell him Huffington Post wants to publish one of my latest blogs, I know he's proud I'm finding success at something that I like (even though he does make fun of my pet articles in Women's Edition).

So when I mentioned that "one of my blogger friends," Jen of People I Want to Punch in the Throat, was compiling an anthology of stories about husbands, he didn't really say I couldn't write about him. And when I did write something, he even smiled a few times while reading it.

But THEN, when I got the e-mail from Jen saying that she'd accepted my essay into her new book (squeeee!) and that I was officially a "Super Cool Lady Writer," he didn't make fun of me AT ALL!

See, I get to make fun of HIM a little in this book.

Many of you will remember the first installment of this series, I Just Want to Be Alone. It is super funny and written by some "kick-ass lady bloggers."

This second installment is called I Just Want to Be Alone, and here is what it's about:

"Don't get us wrong, we love the men in our lives – we do (most of the time). It's just that sometimes we would like them to go away. Not forever or anything like that. Just for an hour … or a day … or a weekend. We want some time to ourselves to read a good book or take a walk or do anything other than try to make a dent in the never ending mound of dirty clothes that keeps piling up on the floor on his side of the bed. We just want to be alone. All alone. Is that too much to ask?

I Just Want to Be Alone is a collection of humorous essays from 37 of the most Super Cool Lady Writers you'll find on the web. Including: People I Want to Punch in the Throat, Baby Sideburns, A.K. Turner, My Husband Ate All My Ice Cream, and Bad Parenting Moments.

Read hilarious essays like:

Open Letter To My Son (Or: Your Mother’s Top 10 List of Ways Not to Be a Douchebag Husband)

Exploding With Love, Literally

Romance is Overrated

Life With the Thin Guy

Dear Magnolia, Should I Marry This Man?"

I am so excited to be a part of my second anthology, and one that includes amazing bloggers like these:

People I Want to Punch in the Throat

Moms Who Drink and Swear

Baby Sideburns

A.K. Turner

My Husband Ate All My Ice Cream

Bad Parenting Moments

The Underachiever's Guide to Being a Domestic Goddess

The Ugly Volvo

Let Me Start By Saying

Motherhood, WTF?

Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

Frugalista Blog

Toulouse and Tonic

Nicole Leigh Shaw

Somewhat Sane Mom

MyLifeSuckers

The Mom of the Year

Hollow Tree Ventures

When Crazy Meets Exhaustion

Funny Is Family

Abby Has Issues

Kissing the Frog

Nurse Mommy Laughs

Our Small Moments

I'm Still Learning

The Fordeville Diaries

You're My Favorite Today

Ironic Mom

Life on Peanut Layne

Loripalooza

I Love Them The Most When They're Sleeping

From Meredith to Mommy

The Nomad Mom Diary 

649.133: Girls, the Care and Raising Of

Lisa Newlin – Seriously?

Keeper of the Fruit Loops

Magnolia Ripkin

That is far too much awesomeness for one book!! But that's not even the best part. The best part is that, although its official release is not until March 22, you can pre-order I Just Want to Be Alone TODAY to ensure that you get your copy right away! Just click on that little link or the Amazon link at the top of the page.

This is going to be so fun - because, hey, we all love our men. And what better way to show our love than poking a little fun at them?

Order your copy - today. And while you're waiting, have you read the first book yet? On the off chance you haven't, order your copy of I Just Want to Pee Alone and get in the mood for more hilariousness come March 22nd.

I can't wait!

Oh, and for the record, Hubby, that's Ms. Super Cool Lady Writer to you!
 

Grief Stories~The Cookie Jar Parable (Plus a Giveaway!)

I'm breaking my Grief Stories every other Thursday pattern to bring you something really special today. My wonderful blog friend, Stephanie from Binkies and Briefcases, has written a lovely children's book that helps to explain the concepts of death and Heaven to children. We received many books when Joey died, but this one would have made a perfect addition to our repertoire. I love the way Stephanie uses a parable to explain life and death. Here she is to talk about her idea and inspiration.

 

I want to very sincerely thank Kathy for having me today. She has been an amazing blog friend and her writing is always such an inspiration. If anyone knows how to take their grief and turn it into a positive force for helping other people, it is Kathy. That's exactly what I hope to be able to do with my new children's book, so I am honored that she has asked me to share the spotlight on her blog today.

Unfortunately, my inspiration for The Cookie Jar Parable came from a real life tragedy. My friend Mary Joy was in a terrible car accident with her entire family. They lost her husband and she and both of her boys were all in critical conditions, separated in different hospitals. The book is dedicated to them. They live a thousand miles away and I was unable to be with them in person. I did what I could and sent some money to try to help with medical bills, but I was just heartbroken. I was left trying to explain this terrible situation to my children, who were too young to understand.

I didn’t know what else to do, so I prayed. I asked for a way to explain it to them so that they could understand the grief I was feeling, but it would not be scary or intimidating to them. That’s when the story came to me.The Cookie Jar Parable is about a little boy named Elliot who is sad because his grandpa has just gone to Heaven. His grandma tells him a story about a jar full of cookies, which helps him feel better. This is how it is described on the back of the book:
 

Elliot’s grandpa is in Heaven now, and Elliot is sad. He is a little nervous to visit Grandma’s house since Grandpa won’t be there anymore. Will she be upset? Is she lonely? During their visit Grandma shares a special story with Elliot. Her story is about a jar full of cookies that have been created to be part of a great celebration. Through “The Cookie Jar Parable” Grandma is able to help Elliot understand that it is all right to be scared of death and loss, but on the other side there is a wonderful celebration waiting for us.

It is my sincere hope that The Cookie Jar Parable is able to open a dialogue between children and their parents. All children experience grief on some level, whether it is through the loss of a pet, a grandparent, or a tragedy in the news. It can be a new and unfamiliar emotion. I wrote this book to help alleviate some of the fear that often comes with the unknown. I hope that reading about Elliot can help children identify and work through their own emotions and begin the healing process.

 

*       *       *

Stephanie Giese is a mom of three and a former elementary school teacher who lives in Pennsylvania, just outside of Amish Country. She blogs at Binkies and Briefcases and has also been featured in the Amazon best-selling humor anthologies I Just Want to Pee Alone and You Have Lipstick on Your Teeth. She is a regular contributor to Smart Magazine in York, PA and has also been featured on The Huffington Post and In The Powder Room, as well as on The Today Show’s blog. She is the founder of the BlogU Conference. The Cookie Jar Parable is her first children’s book. It is available now on Amazon and through Tate Publishing.


Stephanie is being so kind and giving one lucky reader a PDF copy of her book. I really think you and your children will love this sweet story and bold colorful illustrations. I love the way Heaven is talked about as a celebration because we always have a "Joey Party" on the crapiversary of Joey's death. We don't stop loving or thinking about the people who have died, and this is such a comforting way of seeing them. Enter through the Rafflecopter below (I've always found the easiest way to enter is by using your e-mail address), and I'll notify the winner by Tuesday, February 4th. Good luck!



a Rafflecopter giveaway


*This giveaway has ended. 

Grief Stories~Will I Ever Be Ready?

After a long absence, Grief Stories is back! Today's contributor is Jessica from Domestic Pirate. She is sharing a dilemma that a lot of couples have: deciding to have another child or accepting their family as it is. For some, the answer is clear. But for others, what the heart wants and the mind accepts are two different things entirely. I love this post so much because I totally GET IT. Thank you for sharing this personal story with us, Jessica.

What do you do when your body and brain are at odds with your heart?

We've been telling people that, without a doubt, 4 children is plenty. This is it. We're done now.  Captain is absolutely sure. But, if I'm being honest with myself, for me, the feeling just isn't there.

I have always needed assistance to stop bleeding immediately after the birth of my babies. With The Kraken's gestation, my platelet count was low from the very beginning. When she was born, the nurses had to dump half a bag of pitocin into me and give me a double dose of cervadil to stop my massive bleeding.

Suffice it to say, childbirth is slightly more dangerous for me than the average woman.

My body has given clear signals that another pregnancy and childbirth would likely result in serious medical interventions. With four kids to care for already, an extended hospital stay would be awful for everyone.

I can look at my family and say, 'Yes, we are complete.'  My brain, hereafter referred to as sanity, is often at its limit already. I won't go into the list that every mom has ever posted about what she does with her day and what makes it hard. I will say that I know my limits, and they're stretched right now. So are Captain's. We know it won't necessarily get easier, but it will change as the kids get older, and we are eager to get 'out of baby jail,' so to speak.

So why is it so hard for me to accept that The Kraken is our last baby? When I think about never again feeling life stirring inside me, when I snuggle her, feel her frictionless skin, smell her sweet milky breath, watch her tiny fingers clutch mine, and remember the way it brought me such peace doing the same with each of my other babies, I feel a pang of despair. To know I will never experience this, in such depth, ever again breaks my heart.

This is the age I love the most. The sweetest, yet most fleeting.

The way it feels to have an infant cling to you.

The weight of a sleeping baby in your arms.

The rush of delight when the baby starts smiling at you.

The thrill of feeling your body naturally respond to the needs of a seeking mouth.

I don't ever want to stop experiencing it... but I have to, and it's devastating.

And, I understand now. I totally get carpe diem. I know why the youngest is forever treated like a baby. Because otherwise you have to let go. Letting go is admitting you'll never experience it again.  And that's such a hard pill to swallow.

So forgive me, as I become the lady who eagerly waits for an invitation to hold your new baby.  Understand that I won't be smelling your baby's head or kissing your baby's cheeks to be creepy, but to bring back the memories of what I used to have.

What I wasn't ready to let go of.

 How did you KNOW  you were ready to stop having children?

 

Jessica is the Domestic Pirate, Ren Faire Privateer Gone Mom. When she's not blogging about anything and everything, she's taking care of the Captain and their 4 Cabin Kids. She's obsessed with Facebook and Crossfit, and is convinced that the dough is always better than the cookie. You can also find her on Twitter and Pinterest.

 

 

 

 

Around the Pond with the Frog~Weeks Ending 12/8/13

December is here! As Lucy said in A Charlie Brown Christmas, "Santa Claus and ho-ho-ho, and mistletoe and presents to pretty girls."

Blah is how I have come to feel about it, and I hate that I feel this way. I love Christmas time - the lights, the music. I just don't like the constant "I wants" from my boys. I fear disappointing people. I fear forgetting the traditions we've done in the past. 

And, of course, I miss Joey. 

It's hard. I haven't written much. But here's what has been happening "around the pond":

 

• I made a list of my favorite Christmas books for kids and adults. 
• I hosted Emily of Oh Boy Mom and her grief story of a cancer diagnosis coming on the heels of a loss. 
• I was at Mamalode letting moms know that crying and being strong are not mutually exclusive. 

There are so many great Christmas posts going around right now. It's tough to choose just a few that I loved:

• This story of a tree by Amy of Funny is Family.
• A Christmas realization from the always wise Bethany of Bad Parenting Moments on In the Powder Room.
• How about an Elf on the Shelf for Mommy? Kerry of House Talk'n explains In the Powder Room (again, I know, but I love that site!).
• This beautiful piece on Mamalode by Andrea of Underachiever's Guide to Being a Domestic Goddess about the perfection of Christmas.

Hey, if you love Mamalode as much as I do (and not just because they pay me), did you know that you can download their "Greatest Hits" from iTunes? It has all the issues of their print magazine - lovely photography, deep poetry, and beautiful writing - all in one place. And it's listed for only .99 cents right now. See how pretty it looks on my iPad? Get a copy - you'll be inspired.

 

And finally, did you know that Elf Shaming is back? If you have a naughty elf, send it in and make us laugh.

Around the Pond with the Frog~Weeks ending 11/24/13

November is almost over, and I gotta say, I'm getting tired of Christmas already. It's so sad that it is jammed down our throats earlier and earlier every year. I was having lunch with one of my best friends, whose birthday frequently falls on Thanksgiving. She was saying how much she loves Thanksgiving because it's all about family and friends and eating. Amen.

My first print article came out in a local magazine this week, which was super exciting (of course, I found a typo in it which drives me NUTS!). It was an article about keeping pets safe in winter, and the feature photo was a little striped cat. Regular readers and friends will know that Joey's favorite stuffed animal was a stripey kitten. The irony of that being the photo on my first real freelance article does not escape me. Without Joey, I wouldn't be writing,

Here's what I wrote:

• This list of depression fighting tips after doing a bit of soul searching.
• I talked about the problems with the family bed.
• I talked about how sometimes I feel like my mothering is just one long epic fail.
• I invited another mama to share her grief story of losing her daughter to cancer.

Stuff I loved from other bloggers:

• This from Brenna at Suburban Snapshots. We're all doing it, the best we know how.
• This ode to best friends at In the Powder Room.
• These amazing gift guides put together by the savvy and smart Anna of My Life and Kids.
• This general silliness about Thanksgiving by Kristi of Finding Ninee.

Wishing all my American readers a very Happy Thanksgiving. Have a wonderful week everyone!!

 

 

 

For more silly Thanksgiving memes, head over to the Underachiever's Guide to Being a Domestic Goddess.

 

 

 

Around the Pond with the Frog~Weeks Ending 11/10/13

Here's what I wrote:

• I told the story of the small fire we had at our house as a cautionary tale (which my old stomping grounds, Her View From Home, cross-posted).
• I told the story of our first Halloween trick-or-treating with the boys.
• I shared the CheckedTwice giveaway. You have to check out this great site and enter for a chance to win $500 - both of which will make your holidays easier. You have until 11/18 to enter.

Here's where I was:

• I was asking "Why?" questions on the Sunshine After the Storm website (Remember, you can still get the book - just follow the Amazon link above).
• In my latest on Mamalode I talk about my response to those comments people make about moms and their kids.

Finally, my Grief Stories guest, Stacey from Nurse Mommy Laughs, was stealing hearts and causing tears with her heart wrenching story of losing her full-term baby.

Here's what I loved:

• This important post about doing the right thing in the face of bullying by Tara at You Know It Happens at Your House, Too.
• Some ecards at Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms.
• This analysis of the classic Wizard of Oz by Bethany at Bad Parenting Moments.
• This post about what a little child can teach us about finding the beauty in life by Michelle at They Call Me Mummy.

Around the Pond with the Frog~October Wrap-up

Whew, is it almost the end of October already?!

I think I changed my mind about doing a monthly wrap-up. That's too much to keep track of. Plus, I can't pimp out my wonderful bloggy friends because I can't remember what they wrote. So, I think I'll try every two weeks now. Hey, my blog, my crazy mind.

Here's what happened during the month of October:

• I was very honored to be asked to contribute to a book for grieving parents. Of course I'm excited to finally have an author page on Amazon; but helping others work through their grief is really what it's all about. Snag your copy by following my Amazon link at the top of the page.
• Speaking of helping others, I was thrilled to be able to present almost $1,000 worth of classroom supplies to teacher and fellow blogger Courtney of Our Small Moments. If you haven't checked out her blog yet, you must. Her writing is beautiful and real and her photographs are amazing.
• I wrote a poem for Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day.

I also made the rounds around the www. Here's where I was:

• At Outsmarted Mommy sharing how I'm part of a mom club I never wanted to join.
• I shared the story of my three miscarriages on Her View From Home for Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day.
• I was at Mamalode again sharing a Vent about the things I've heard over and over since becoming a mom. My answer will make you feel good.

And finally, I had two powerful Grief Stories posts from amazing bloggers willing to open their hearts to us:

• This one about how a spouse's illness can rock us to the core.
• And this one about how early miscarriage is sometimes the hardest kind of all because often the mama suffers silently.

Stuff I loved from other bloggers:

• This simple list of ways to tell your son you love him by Building Boys.
• This beautiful reminder that faith and wonder are right where you need them to be when you need them.
• This hilarious reminder from Karen at Baby Sideburns that all moms are in the same boat, so just knock off the Judgy McJudgy crap. (Check out her new book while you're at it!)

Have a very fun, happy, and safe Halloween everyone!! xo

A Teacher's Day Made Better Thanks to OfficeMax

I used to be a teacher in my single days. I worked in an area of town that was ever-changing. Families moving in and moving out, rental property changing hands, children in foster homes or living with relatives.

There were a few stable families - nice middle class families struggling to make ends meet on a daily basis. But most of my students' lives were in upheaval.

The school district provided enough supplies to run my classroom, but I wanted more for my students. I wanted rewards and incentives, I wanted flashy and engaging bulletin boards, I wanted books they could devour and feed their interests with.

So I spent my own money. A lot of it. In fact, the some teachers spend an average of $1,000 of their own money annually on classroom supplies. Yeowch! I could do that when I was single, but if I ever went back to teaching now that I have a family, I'm not sure I could part with that money.

OfficeMax realizes that and wants to erase teacher-funded classrooms. In fact, OfficeMax® joined with AdoptAClassroom.org to create A Day Made Better. For the past seven years on October 1st, they have surprised more than 1,000 teachers across the country with $1,000 worth of classroom supplies.

And guess what? This year I got to be one of the people to deliver this awesome surprise to a very worthy teacher!

I have a wonderful friend that I met through blogging - Courtney from the blog Our Small Moments. She is sweet and smart and creative. She also happened to lose her husband to cancer about a month ago, and is now teaching and raising her two young children on her own.

I loved being able to surprise her with all of the awesome loot. Her students were so excited  - and so good! They handled the surprise really well.

This will really help ease Courtney's mind. She can do her job without worrying about taking money out of her own pockets that can go toward paying Scott's medical bills and saving for her children's future.

She was shocked and thrilled and so sweetly speechless. This gift definitely went to a worthy teacher!

And seriously, because of their generosity in realizing how important teachers are, I am doing all my shopping at OfficeMax from now on!!

OfficeMax donated the classroom supplies that I received and donated to the teacher. Opinions expressed in this post are 100% my own. I have not been compensated for this post in any other way.

Around the Pond with the Frog~Weeks Endng 9/29/13

There is a wonderful fall chill in the air as I write this. We are planning on a fire and s'mores tonight with some friends. I absolutely love fall - it's my favorite season, but it never seems to last long enough.

I've decided to make my weekly wrap-ups more of a monthly thing. I'm going to be taking on some new projects in October, so I may be blogging a little less. I do have some exciting things planned, for the month of October, though, so do stay tuned.

Here's what I've been writing:

• After a particularly rough Sunday mass with my toddler, I wrote this.
• When Hubby returned from the doctor's office with our son with the object she pulled out of his nose, I had to write about it.
• I wrote a post about how a mom bonds with her sons here.
• I welcomed Kelly of DeBie Hive for a powerful Grief Story.

Here's what I enjoyed:

• These healthy snack suggestions on Today's Mama by Steph of I'm Still Learning.
• This post by Jen of PIWTPITT that has solidified my desire to go work for NASA.